Locked out of Heaven

[knox]

EPISODE IV

[/b]
"A whole lot of luck"[/font]

[/center]

Why don't I ever listen to my instincts? I knew trusting Selena was a stupid idea, I knew voting out Luca was beyond retarded. And now, here I am. Basically fucked over one person who I truly liked and my best friend in the game has been voted out.

Make that, my two best friends because Gloria is also gone.

I feel like I lost a good friend in Luca and that pains me. I listened to what everyone had to say except myself and now not only did I lose good friends and potential allies, but I screwed myself up. In this game, I am literally a walking target. I am a sitting duck waiting to be shot by the hunter and picked up by her hunting dogs.

I feel like I lost everything. I did what Chase, Gloria, AJ and everyone wanted to do. But I never, EVER wanted to vote out Luca. EVER. I thought it was a stupid idea, and I should have listened to myself because Selena did what I thought she would do. And now Hannah is gone.

I absolutely despise Selena, she better not approach me because I won't be able to hold myself back. I hate her. Why did she bring up that we should vote out Luca? She basically pressured me into it, her and everyone else in this game. And now look where I am.

This is probably the most melodramatic confessional in the universe, but I can't help but feel like shit. I tried talking to Luca and he basically said he didn't care and needed space. I understand, but that hurts, probably not as much as it hurts him that I back-stabbed him though...

I think if anything this shows that I need to play my own game. I need to stop doing what people want me to do and do what Knox wants to do. Trust my gut instinct and just do what I can. If I can... I mean, clearly Ellen and her posy are gonna be hardcore pissed at me and trying to get me destroyed.

I am sad. I think with one move, I destroyed the tower of cards that I had so carefully worked on putting up.

[knox]

EPISODE IV

[/b]
"A whole lot of luck"[/font]

[/center]

Basically, I think I have set myself up in a pretty decent position. But before I talk about that let me talk about the idols real fast.

I know that both Ellen and Mark have one, they both told me. And for a while I have been trying to figure out who has the third one, my suspects were Cassie or Thiago, two people who I don't want an idol to be with. But then, tonight, everything was revealed. Chase has the last idol.

I am not sure how I feel about this, I am glad because I like Chase and I didn't want Thiago or Cassie to have one. But I am also kind of sad because he didn't tell me, and I am not saying we are super close or anything. But I tried helping him to get the idol. I gave him the password. Mark had already given it to him before and he had taken the idol but he still lied to me, and did a whole charade. I think the fact that I tried to get him an idol is proof enough that I wanted to work with him.

The fact even after that he didn't say shit though... it shows he doesn't really trust me much. And then with the Luca thing... I am wondering if he purposely set me up to be in a bad position. I hope that is not the case because I genuinely like Chase, a lot. But... yeah, it's hard to make it make sense for me at this point in time.

Now, with that done let me talk about my position in ugly Legatu tribe. I skyped with AJ for a while today, and we came to the agreement that we wanted to work together. We have been friends for over four years, and we were both excited to be with each other. We chose to work with both Mark and Henry as well, Mark had already mentioned we could probably work with AJ and I think Henry is gonna be up for it. He said he wanted to talk strategy with me tomorrow which is good, it shows he at least has me in his plans.

Now, I know Henry outside of the game, we got drunk together once and we sometimes text. I like him a lot, but I have always had this feeling he doesn't care for me much, and mostly just stands me because I am good friends with some of his good friends. I also know how he plays these games and he is definitively hardcore, but in all honesty I have very few connections and as pathetic as it sounds I want Henry to like me.

I talked to Mark briefly and he was down, but he had to go. And I plan to approach Henry about it tomorrow. I think Henry will be a good ally because he is not part of Queen Ellen's Army or AJ/Cassie's Posse. He is neutral, like me and Mark. Which means right now every side has an idol.

Queen Ellen holds hers for her own army. Chase has one for AJ/Cassie and then Mark has one for the In-Betweeners. Not sure how any of them are going to do about sharing idols, but I know where all of them are and I am comfortable with them.

Anyways, the plan with AJ was to side with the guys and then either string Thiago along for the vote [not likely, since he is BFF's with Ellen] or Wendy. Make people think that Ben is the target [since Ellen is most likely getting individual immunity, otherwise we would say she is the target] and then vote out someone else. I want Thiago but idk how willing people would be willing to do that, but I am fine losing Wendy since she seemingly sucks at life.

My thing is... I don't know if we can trust Thiago to vote with us and not tell Ellen thus having her not play her idol to save Ben/herself. Then again, we could make Wendy vote Ben/Ellen and then have it be 4-3-1 or something. I think it's a decent plan, and if we get rid of the idol then in a tribe like ours Ellen becomes powerless. We can then boot Thiago because he is a snake, and if we lose again or when we have a chance destroy Ellen.

There's a lot to think about. I am just glad that I possibly am part of a majority. Possibly for the first time in my GvE story! How exciting!

[knox]

OMFG SECOND HIGHEST SCORE!
WHAAAAT?!

[knox]

EPISODE IV

[/b]
"A whole lot of luck"[/font]

[/center]

I am still super excited that we won. First time ever and it's so exciting! Totally ruins the possible Denise storyline that I had going on, but who cares?

Anyways, I have been working on setting the alliance of four with Henry, AJ & Mark. Mark was all up for it, he was excited about the whole idea which was good news for me. However, when I talked to Henry... he didn't seem at all excited about it, he said it sounded "okay" and like "the best thing considering" but it seemed so... dry?

Definitively raised some red flags. I no longer know how true he is about the alliance, but for now we seem set. Hopefully at least. I am trying not to be too nervous because of the fact that we won the challenge so we should be able to relax and just have a good time.

I am nervous for Chase on the other tribe, it is very clear that they threw the challenge and something tells me it has something to do with the fact that Ellen might have given her idol to Luca. Why else would they feel so comfortable doing such a thing?

They have Colleen, Dominic, Luca and Selena. Chase seems to think that he has Dominic and Selena, didn't he learn anything from making me trust that little shit? The smart thing to do, for him, would be to tell Dominic/Selena the vote is for one person and then vote for someone else. In case of idol play. But I am not gonna be like him and tell him how to play the game, that would be rude and uncalled for.

Hopefully though, he can survive. I feel like despite all the bullsh he has done, he is someone I can trust. Especially with Luca still not talking to me </3

[knox]

EPISODE V

[/b]
"That means we are bff4lyfe!"[/font]

[/center]

People truly underestimate me. They all think I'm incredibly stupid and that I don't understand how to play the game, they all talk down to me and treat me like some kind of child.

It's both amusing and really annoying. They really think I don't know anything that is going on in the game, when I am pretty confident I have a pretty good hold on the way the game is going.

Quincy got voted out, rumor says. They trusted the snake and they split the votes. Quincy went home. It was all pretty logical to me, I saw it coming, some kind of snake-like maneuver. Did someone listen to me? No, because they all think I'm stupid.

Now Cassie, Chase and Michael are all screwed. Chase might survive cause he has that idol, but everyone suspects either him or Cassie have it, so chances are a big blindside is on his future. I feel bad because I really like Chase, but it is clear he doesn't trust me, and probably doesn't like me all that much either, so it is what is is. I tried to warn him.

Right now Thiago is informing me of what "really happened" trying to align with me and get me to trust him and work with him for some kind of 'in the middle alliance'. Truth be told, he has a lot of his facts wrong. And I want to trust him, but I have a bad feeling about him. You know who the last person I had a bad feeling about was? Selena.

Things are getting hairier by the minute, and in all honesty I think that the other tribe Proelia are gonna throw challenge after challenge until we merge. To ensure their Queen is safe until then and they have majority.

Two can play that game though. But I don't know how safe I would feel if that is the case, and not sure if the rest of my people would be willing to throw challenges. Especially because if we throw them, then the Queen would have that individual immunity.

It's tricky, but letting them slide all the way with the numbers is also a really bad idea. The good news is, I am probably the least threatening to them. Mark/AJ/Henry/Thiago [if he is not with them] are all bigger threats. So, besides Wendy I am the least of their concerns. Unless they continue to be bitter about my betrayal.

I guess we will see, the next few rounds though... they are gonna decide the future of this game.

[knox]

Dear God:
I hate you for pairing me up with Selena, now I have to talk to her depressed, loser, crabs-ridden bitch-face.
You surely have a dark sense of humor, which I do not appreciate right now.
LoveHate,
Knox.

[knox]

EPISODE V

[/b]
"That means we are bff4lyfe!"[/font]

[/center]

This is probably going to go down as the oddest rant in Good VS Evil history. But I am actually really angry, well... I am more like frustrated, angry is a big word in this context.

Basically, I am mad that people had to bitch about the challenge and now not only are we NOT going to lose, but we have a chance of Ben being immune.

And why, you ask, does this bother me so much? Simple. AJ had immunity, not Ellen, but AJ, it was our best case scenario, it was absolute perfection. We could have easily divided votes between Ellen and Ben, have Ellen play her idol on herself, and goodbye Ben thus cutting down the power that Ellen has and helping us with a merge situation.

The worst case scenario was Ellen played the idol on herself, while Thiago voted with them thus causing a 3-3 tie between Ben and one of us, but then during the revote Ben goes. It was virtually fool's proof.

But people decided to whine and bitch about it. And now, now we face the worst possible scenario. I mean sure, we can win. But we would be wasting this golden opportunity. I am just... frustrated, people need to think more! Blah... gosh I hope we either win, or AJ keeps that immunity, because if Ben is immune, then we are in a world of trouble.
.

[knox]

Selena 2:51 am
It feels as if you're almost jealous of me for some reason

Knox O Pompillio 2:52 am
what?!
how am i jea;lous of you?

Selena 2:53 am
I don't know you're being catty so I am assuming its jealousy.


I hope this bitch is kidding me, I['m too dunk for this shit.

[knox]

EPISODE V

[/b]
"That means we are bff4lyfe!"[/font]

[/center]

So, we won the challenge... I guess it's okay. Definitively missed a chance to do something major in this game, but that's just how Survivor goes, I suppose. This is just another kink in the road, however I think that this moment... this is gonna define the whole game.

Now, last night I was WASTED, like super drunk. I was talking to people on my ipod because the app doesn't require you to type a password so I was able to log in while I continued to fail to type my password on my laptop [oops]

Anyways, a lot of things happened during my drunken episode. First of all, I told Chase I knew he had the idol, he denied it afterwards so I said "Am I supposed to still pretend I don't know you have the idol?" then he admitted it and said he was a shitty ally. I was drunk so I said "Yeah, you are" which could easily come bite me, but oh well. He made a pouty face [we were skyping by then] and then he apologized and said he didn't want anyone else to know and bla bla bla. He only told Cassie and Michael because they were on his tribe...

Oh, so basically everyone but me and the enemies knew, well that's comforting. But hey, it wasn't personal, and he knows that I'm a good loyal ally. I don't know how much I believe him, and I honestly can't remember much of what else happened. But judging by the snapchats I had this morning from other people... oops.

Then Selena comes, and asks me why I dislike all her posts. And I told her it was because I didn't really care for her, I didn't say hate because that's a big word. But I told her the truth. So then she goes on this overdramatic monologue about how she thought we were super close, and bla bla bla. I told her, we were but I don't like liars. And then she said she had never lied...

WHAT?!

Yeah, the bitch said she has never lied, and she was very straight forward about the vote and she always said she was going to vote for Hannah... I repeat: WHAT?!

Obviously the bitch is delusional or has memory issues, maybe she is in denial. Whatever the case is, she thought she could convince me she had never lied, what a fool. Part of me thought she was doing it because Dom told her I was wasted so she wanted to be lulzy or something. It wasn't funny, if anything it makes me want her to leave first round I have the chance.

If we reach the merge and I am in minority I will vote for her ass EVERY SINGLE ROUND, and I don't care. Ellen's Kingdom is too tight either way, so if it comes down to that, well... then that's how I want to go.

Either way she kept saying over and over how I was mean and I was lying, and she had been so straight-forward about the vote. She is clearly crazy. And stupid. But me disliking her posts gets under her skin, so I am gonna keep doing it and be super petty and just dislike every single post.

Oh, and she said I was jealous of her. I don't see how I can be jealous of someone who complains about their RL all the time, and is always sad. OR in the game sense, be jealous of someone who is basically being someone else's bitch and doing all their bidding. No thank you. Not jealous, just annoyed.

Anyways that's my rant today.

[knox]

I just saw that Zac is a PW, and Liam. I don't think either of them have access to my conf, can they please get access?
Also, I'm starting to trust Thiago and get close to him: FUCK MY LIFE.

[zac]

Jun 29, 2013 17:20:00 GMT -5 knox said:

I just saw that Zac is a PW, and Liam. I don't think either of them have access to my conf, can they please get access?

[liam]

Jun 29, 2013 17:20:00 GMT -5 knox said:

I just saw that Zac is a PW, and Liam. I don't think either of them have access to my conf, can they please get access?

I've had access, but thank you.

[knox]

EPISODE VI

[/b]
"Seed you? Isn't that like a perv thing?"[/font]

[/center]

Oh, hey Liam! Can we be friends now?

Chase is out. And I am LIVID and sad. I loved Chase, and it's just so upsetting that the people I want to work with in the long run keep getting destroyed. It's like I am some kind of bad luck charm or something.

I am shocked that Chase didn't play his idol. He trusted Dominic and Colleen, AGAIN, and it backfired. You know what they say "fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you." I cannot believe he didn't play his idol, I mean I should have insisted for him to do it, but ultimately it wasn't my place. I mean... it's his game, and he messed mine up, and I tried helping him before and he ignored me.

What pisses me off more, is that last night after the votes are due, he asked Selena who they had voted for and she said he was safe. Like, what kind of lie is that? Votes are already due? Is that necessary? I bet the bitch is gonna deny ever saying it when Chase asks her.

I don't understand what kind of game she is playing. Is lying part of Survivor? Yes. But unnecessary lies are just absolutely pointless, that's why they are called unnecessary. I am going to get her voted out. I swear! That stupid little emo bitch has no idea who she is messing with. With Liam, I was immature and had no reason to be a dickwad, but this time around she is begging for it.

Then again, I have to remind myself immaturity won't win me this game, and when the time is right I can act on it. Right now, her side has all the power. So I will sort of play nice.

Sort of. People are talking about a swap coming up, I'm not too sure about that. And I don't know how I would like that. Part of me wants the opportunity to fuck Selena up, but then... I know the chances of being in a tribe with a majority to do such a thing is virtually impossible. I'd rather take my chances with Ben and the Queen.

[knox]

EPISODE VI

[/b]
"Seed you? Isn't that like a perv thing?"[/font]

[/center]

So... new challenge. And it looks like a double tribal, the problem is that both Ben and Ellen could be immune, in which case a Wendy boot would happen. On the other tribe either Cassie or Michael are going home, depending on what the others want. It's basically a done deal unless they both win immunity which seems impossible.

There is a plan in motion though, apparently the game is officially divided. One side has Queen Ellen's typical army and then the stragglers have banded together to create the not-so-powerful nation of Homeless Land. And then there's island Wendy who no one really gives a fuck about.

The plan is to divide the highest numbers from 150 to 143 in order to try and block the other people with the highest numbers. That way if they go for one of the highest scores then they will be blocked by one of us and they won't be immune. Or something. It seems smart but it also sounds like a giant clusterfuck.

I am gonna go through with it because it sounds smart, and I suck with numbers so I will just do what I can, I guess. It's gonna be a lot of posting so I'm not very excited.

On other news, I have been getting SUPER close to Thiago. I told him today that his social game was so good it was almost like he was roofing us into loving him. The thing is... I think I am getting too attached to Thiago. He flirts a lot, and he is SUPER nice, and I love hearing people call me handsome, obviously. So it's like... he is like the apple from the Garden of Eden, I know I shouldn't have anything to do with it, but I want to. I might even be kind of, a little smitten. Which is stupid, cause not only is this an ORG but I know what he did to my boy Chad last time in his conf. He is probably making fun of me right now. Go figure.

Blah, I need to get rid of the Thiago fever, it's only gonna fuck me over in the end.

[knox]

Major update coming soon. Tons going on tonight.