Post by Cassie Goldsmith on Jun 14, 2013 18:09:38 GMT -5
Well, here I am. I think that it was a good decision to play as Cassie. Even though it would be cool to have all of the winners returning to play in All-Stars, I feel that I would have no unfinished business if I returned as Ryan. Ryan won the game. And while I would have been set to see how far I could get as a returning winner, I feel like with Cassie, there is still unfinished business. When I originally chose to play as Ryan, it was in fear of my Cassie reputation haunting me here. However, I got over my ego and realized that everyone has a reputation. And while I still have a bigger one than others, it will make it interesting to see how I can incorporate myself into the group. Will I be able to make others believe that I am not a threat like I was able to in season 1? Who knows….but that’s the fun of it. Do I believe I should have won season 1? Absolutely. Despite Decan’s eloquent jury speeches, his post-merge gameplay pretty much sucked. Do I give him a little more credit as a winner now that I’ve had time to process it? Yes, I think he was a smart cookie. But I still hold against him that he put no effort into the social game once the merge hit. He didn’t have time for AIM, but he had time to bust his ass in challenges. Whatever. So, yeah, I thought I was the best player in season 1. However, I was humbled by how I handled the last few rounds. I overlooked Decan when I shouldn’t have. I expected him to take me to the finals even if it would be a dumb decision, and he didn’t. I tried to threaten him with my jury vote, and it failed. I got cocky, plain and simple. So then I played season 3 and tried to play a little more low-key. Then I was known as a sucky winner….so I guess here in All-Stars, I will be trying to find that happy medium. I can’t be the fiery powerhouse, but I can’t be someone’s bitch either. And this will be a journey to finding that perfect medium. Will I be able to accomplish that? Probably not. I’ve been planning my pre-jury vacation for weeks. But I came here to try my best, and that is what I will do.
Admittedly, I was not sure whether or not to play this season. I was back and forth and back and forth, and I think that I probably changed my mind on the matter like twice a day. I tried to find every excuse possible to not play. I didn’t want to tarnish my reputation in the series if I didn’t place well in All-Stars. Then I realized that I shouldn’t be so worried about a so-called reputation in an online reality game. Like really? How lame is that?! Then I said to myself that I didn’t want to get involved with the hardship of All-Stars. This season will be hard. I know things will get personal, and things will get dirty. I wasn’t sure if I was willing to put up with all that crap. In addition, I wasn’t happy with how I felt after season 3. Reading how people thought I played a crappy game and enduring the regret of voting out AJ was tough. I was also afraid to face Dominic again after a second betrayal. I also used the excuse that I would be super busy during the course of the game, which is totally true. But then I realized I was being ridiculous. I was using so much mental effort over whether or not to play an online game. The truth of the matter is, I was scared. I was basing my decision on the fear I had of playing again. I was being so lame! I also knew that if I chose not to play, I would check the board and totally regret it. I’d be jealous while watching everyone else battle it out. I’m a competitive person, and I just want to compete. So I pushed everything aside and decided to join the cast. Even though I don’t have as much free time on my hands as some others do, I can still try my best. Even if I get voted out first, that is still better than just never trying whatsoever. If I turned down the opportunity, there would always be that “what if…” in the back of my mind. So screw that. Let’s do this!
There has been several scenarios as to how I should play this time around running through my head. The only thing I’ve decided 100% coming into this game is that I can’t backstab AJ this time around. Honestly, I think that is the one thing that makes looking back on season 3 so unbearable. I just can’t do that to her again. I refuse. I’ll lay down my torch before I write her name down. I’m just throwing that out there right now. So I hope it never comes down to that point. If she does have to be voted out, I hope that I am blindsided alongside with her or just not involved in it whatsoever. I will not partake in it. That could be my downfall this season, and that’s fine. Kirin and I will probably be friends for a long time, even after I am done playing ORGs. That’s more important than this game. So I thought maybe I would just be like tanning on the beach and not really playing hardcore. But I’m competitive! I’m incapable of not putting in strategic effort. I can’t play as aggressively as before, and usually people are most successful in All-Stars when they are a tad bit under the radar. So I am going to go with the flow with this one. I probably say that like every season, but it is just true. You can’t jump in with a set strategy. You have to go with how the wind takes you. It is impossible to predict the dynamics that will occur when the game begins. So, I always try to take a step back and observe my surroundings. My first goal will just be to not be the first person voted out. I will take it in steps. One thing is for certain…this will be one hell of a show.
