Post by ellen on Jul 3, 2013 8:06:23 GMT -5
7/3/2013
Wendy left, just like I thought that she would. She voted for me, but I can't say that I blame her, because I know she was just trying to keep herself in the game; she would have definitely left in a tie over Knox. It's not like she had a lot of options.
When we returned from Judgment, I was naturally a little bit annoyed. The thing that rattles me the most is the way that Thiago keeps lying to me. He acts like he had no part in any vote split, but the proof is in the pudding.
Thiago is a lot of things as a player, but naive is not one of them. He can pretend that he was manipulated or that his vote was exploited or whatever, but he knows exactly what he's been doing and so do I.
If things stay as they are, basically if we don't merge or at least have some sort of tribal shakeup, then Ben and I are sitting in a really rough spot.
This whole game I've had people gunning for me to leave, but so far, nine people have fallen and I'm still here. Well, it shouldn't be a surprise, but I'm going to keep fighting tooth and nail to stay alive. If they want me out that bad, then they'd better know that I'm not going down without a fight.
7/3/2013
Surprise, surprise... just when things start to settle, the deck gets reshuffled. Being on a tribe with Colleen, who was one of my closest allies the last time I played, is amazing. I love her so much. We also gained Cassie, which...
...
Losing Henry, Knox and Thiago to Proelia is fine by me, although I wish that Mark had gone in one of their places, just because of that pesky HII of his.
While the numbers situation over here is an improvement for Ben and I, we're not out of the dark yet.
The silver lining, if it can be called that, is that the Idols played at the last two Judgments have been rehidden, one at each camp. Finding the one over here, it's the only option that Ben, Colleen and I have right now. It's the only way to level the playing field and to give ourselves an actual shot in the next vote.
7/4/2013
I'm really optimistic about our chances of winning this challenge. It's fun to see everything coming together. Of course, for all I know, Proelia could be blowing us out of the water right now, but I doubt it.
The scary thing, if we do lose, is that I still have no idea about these clues. I'm really nervous that AJ, Cassie or Mark could have already found the Idol by now.
If that's the case, then Ben, Colleen and I could be in a lot of trouble, because whichever group finds it, is going to have a huge leg up at the first Judgment that we go to.
7/6/2013
Well it's off to Judgment we go. I'm happy for Luca and Selena, since they haven't had a break from it for the entire game but at the same time I'm pretty nervous. This vote has the potential to determine a lot going forward.
I'm immune, again, which puts me in a record setting position. I'm now tied with Luca for the most Individual Immunity wins in a single season. It's exciting to have made my mark on the series and know that I'm guaranteed a spot in the Final 11.
As thing stand, it's pretty much three-on-three right now, with Ben, Colleen and me on one side and AJ, Cassie and Mark on the other. Mark has an Idol so if he uses it, things are going to get really tricky.
I think that the other three will probably vote for Colleen, but I wouldn't necessarily be shocked if they voted for Ben either. The likelihood of this vote going to rocks is pretty high, and crazily enough, it could be just two people picking them tonight. For the fate of the game to potentially be up to a glorified coin flip... it's crazy.
Things would be a lot easier if we could find the HII but at this point I'm not crossing my fingers. Someone would be more likely to stumble across Narnia than that thing.
7/6/2013
As intense as our conversations get sometimes, I really do respect Mark as a player. I think that his intentions are well placed, even he's got what I consider to be a warped view of the circumstances that have shaped this season.
If I'm going to be on the jury again, which is a big possibility, and if my allies are going to be there with me, I'd be hard pressed not to vote for Mark to win... if the opportunity presented itself anyway. I know that he's playing the game, and if he takes me out it's probably because it's a great strategic move for him and not because he has anything against me as a person... at least I hope.
7/7/2013
And now I get to eat my words. This game continues to be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Since the tie, Mark has gone into a rage and is now calling Ben a disgusting person for backing him into a corner. What the hell dude?
Mark seems perfectly content to take a rock, so good for him I guess? I do think he's doing it for the wrong reasons, but he has to play his own game. Evidently, the fact that Ben protected Colleen (by keeping quiet about our votes this round) and is now willing to risk a rock for her if it comes to that, is unforgivable and morally reprehensible gameplay. Maybe I'm missing something? I don't know.
Mark seems to be under the impression that the six people in our alliance have been together for weeks in advance of the game, but that really hasn't been the case at all. We've felt just as forced together as their side has... but there's nothing that we can say or do that will get that through to him or any of the others.
Meanwhile, I have Thiago screaming at me about how apparently time and again, I've exploited his trust and hurt him in the worst possible ways. I won't deny that I've pretended to trust Thiago in this game even when I didn't. I'm not innocent of that. I will say though, that it has been really hard for me to not question him, just based off of his actions. He's the only ally of mine that I've continually felt the need to second guess, so I don't think that my feelings are completely unwarranted...
My mind is racing and I hate how ugly this has all gotten.
Wendy left, just like I thought that she would. She voted for me, but I can't say that I blame her, because I know she was just trying to keep herself in the game; she would have definitely left in a tie over Knox. It's not like she had a lot of options.
When we returned from Judgment, I was naturally a little bit annoyed. The thing that rattles me the most is the way that Thiago keeps lying to me. He acts like he had no part in any vote split, but the proof is in the pudding.
Thiago is a lot of things as a player, but naive is not one of them. He can pretend that he was manipulated or that his vote was exploited or whatever, but he knows exactly what he's been doing and so do I.
If things stay as they are, basically if we don't merge or at least have some sort of tribal shakeup, then Ben and I are sitting in a really rough spot.
This whole game I've had people gunning for me to leave, but so far, nine people have fallen and I'm still here. Well, it shouldn't be a surprise, but I'm going to keep fighting tooth and nail to stay alive. If they want me out that bad, then they'd better know that I'm not going down without a fight.
7/3/2013
Surprise, surprise... just when things start to settle, the deck gets reshuffled. Being on a tribe with Colleen, who was one of my closest allies the last time I played, is amazing. I love her so much. We also gained Cassie, which...
...Losing Henry, Knox and Thiago to Proelia is fine by me, although I wish that Mark had gone in one of their places, just because of that pesky HII of his.
While the numbers situation over here is an improvement for Ben and I, we're not out of the dark yet.
The silver lining, if it can be called that, is that the Idols played at the last two Judgments have been rehidden, one at each camp. Finding the one over here, it's the only option that Ben, Colleen and I have right now. It's the only way to level the playing field and to give ourselves an actual shot in the next vote.
7/4/2013
I'm really optimistic about our chances of winning this challenge. It's fun to see everything coming together. Of course, for all I know, Proelia could be blowing us out of the water right now, but I doubt it.
The scary thing, if we do lose, is that I still have no idea about these clues. I'm really nervous that AJ, Cassie or Mark could have already found the Idol by now.
If that's the case, then Ben, Colleen and I could be in a lot of trouble, because whichever group finds it, is going to have a huge leg up at the first Judgment that we go to.
7/6/2013
Well it's off to Judgment we go. I'm happy for Luca and Selena, since they haven't had a break from it for the entire game but at the same time I'm pretty nervous. This vote has the potential to determine a lot going forward.
I'm immune, again, which puts me in a record setting position. I'm now tied with Luca for the most Individual Immunity wins in a single season. It's exciting to have made my mark on the series and know that I'm guaranteed a spot in the Final 11.
As thing stand, it's pretty much three-on-three right now, with Ben, Colleen and me on one side and AJ, Cassie and Mark on the other. Mark has an Idol so if he uses it, things are going to get really tricky.
I think that the other three will probably vote for Colleen, but I wouldn't necessarily be shocked if they voted for Ben either. The likelihood of this vote going to rocks is pretty high, and crazily enough, it could be just two people picking them tonight. For the fate of the game to potentially be up to a glorified coin flip... it's crazy.
Things would be a lot easier if we could find the HII but at this point I'm not crossing my fingers. Someone would be more likely to stumble across Narnia than that thing.
7/6/2013
As intense as our conversations get sometimes, I really do respect Mark as a player. I think that his intentions are well placed, even he's got what I consider to be a warped view of the circumstances that have shaped this season.
If I'm going to be on the jury again, which is a big possibility, and if my allies are going to be there with me, I'd be hard pressed not to vote for Mark to win... if the opportunity presented itself anyway. I know that he's playing the game, and if he takes me out it's probably because it's a great strategic move for him and not because he has anything against me as a person... at least I hope.
7/7/2013
And now I get to eat my words. This game continues to be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Since the tie, Mark has gone into a rage and is now calling Ben a disgusting person for backing him into a corner. What the hell dude?
Mark seems perfectly content to take a rock, so good for him I guess? I do think he's doing it for the wrong reasons, but he has to play his own game. Evidently, the fact that Ben protected Colleen (by keeping quiet about our votes this round) and is now willing to risk a rock for her if it comes to that, is unforgivable and morally reprehensible gameplay. Maybe I'm missing something? I don't know.
Mark seems to be under the impression that the six people in our alliance have been together for weeks in advance of the game, but that really hasn't been the case at all. We've felt just as forced together as their side has... but there's nothing that we can say or do that will get that through to him or any of the others.
Meanwhile, I have Thiago screaming at me about how apparently time and again, I've exploited his trust and hurt him in the worst possible ways. I won't deny that I've pretended to trust Thiago in this game even when I didn't. I'm not innocent of that. I will say though, that it has been really hard for me to not question him, just based off of his actions. He's the only ally of mine that I've continually felt the need to second guess, so I don't think that my feelings are completely unwarranted...
My mind is racing and I hate how ugly this has all gotten.
I hope you're enjoying the show!