Ep[607]

[Cassie Goldsmith]

This is what AJ said to me as soon as the tribe switch was posted:


AJ: (12:42:54 AM) OMG
AJ: (12:42:58 AM) THIS IS TERRIBLE
AJ: (12:44:21 AM) well, i guess it's 3-3.....
AJ: (12:45:40 AM) you me mark colleen ben and ellen.....
AJ: (12:46:00 AM) how did we get so unlucky?


my response was:


Cassie: (12:46:03 AM) yeah, but does it have to be 3-3?
AJ: (12:46:25 AM) i don't feel like those 3 will separate though




I'm just frustrated with this whole thing. We are all lumped into sides. I want to CHOOSE my side!! Like I've had one conversation with him ever, but now I have a final 6 deal with him? How is that fun?? Ugh!!!

[Cassie Goldsmith]

Sorry, I know I've been slacking on the confessionals. I've just been majorly lazy about it. Basically, I was really hoping for a merge and for things to be mixed up a little bit. While a switch wasn't the end of the world, I think that it pretty much solidifies the sides at this point. It is obvious Myself/AJ/Henry/Mark/Thiago/Knox vs Ellen/Dominic/Luca/Colleen/Selena/Ben. I don't want it to be like that, and I've been vocal about it. However, I don't have any other choice at this point. I talked to Ellen about it, and she compared the sides to cement, hardening more and more as time wears on. She also said she would not be able to turn on the people who have been "sticking their neck out for her". I think it's a shame the game is shaping out to play out the way it is. I just see no other way, at this point.

I'm stuck in this awkward position because I'm unable to play the kind of game that I usually would like to play. I'm associated into this alliance that I don't want to be a part of...and now these two sides of six are trapped in this stalemate. It's like we are all just standing in opposition, staring at each other, unable to make any other move. That's what makes this round so crucial. It doesn't help that there is another idol floating around. The clues were extremely difficult. I spent several hours on it, but I wasn't making any progress. At this point, I have to assume it's been found. But it's really difficult to plan around 2 idols and an individual immunity necklace on a tribe of 6.

At first, I was thinking about flipping. But I can't do that to AJ. She's my Achilles' Heel in this game. I regret so much about season 3 just because I turned against her. I won't do that again. Besides, I don't even think it would be strategically savvy to try to flip at this point since sides are so solidified. Luckily, Mark isn't being selfish, and he is willing to give up his idol. I think he is planning on playing it on me at this point, thinking that Colleen, Ellen, and Ben are most likely to vote for me. So that's super nice of him. I just hope it is the right move. I think we are voting Colleen because we believe her to be least likely to have an idol. They could definitely predict that, but I don't know. We're hoping Ben would be too selfish to give it away. I really don't know what will happen at this point. We just have to cross our fingers and hope for the best? I know it is selfish of me, but I'm relieved that Mark is probably playing the idol on me. Then I will at least be sitting pretty for this Judgement...


Once again....fingers crossed!

[Cassie Goldsmith]

I'm so nervous. This vote has such a big impact on the game.

[Cassie Goldsmith]

Guess who wins the biggest idiot of the year award?


Cassie: (11:32:29 PM) lol Mark said
Cassie: (11:32:35 PM) "Nice to finally meet you outside of strategy!"
Cassie: (11:32:41 PM) which makes me feel weird since he just used an idol on me...
Cassie: (11:32:42 PM) lol



I just IMed that to Ellen, thinking it was AJ's IM box...




UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Cassie Goldsmith]

LOL I can't believe I was dumb enough to IM that to Ellen. Now I just come off like an arrogant prick. That's what happens when you lose focus for 1 second. Ugh. But it's not like it affected anything. Obviously, I wish we would've given the idol to AJ and Colleen would be gone, and we would have to deal with this. If Mark draws a purple rock, I would be DEVASTATED. Like I'd feel absolutely horrible. I mean, he gave his idol to me!! I'd be like Cassie: The Idol Stealer. So I do hope that it has to come to rocks because AJ and I would be safe. We'd just have to hope for luck to be on our side of the fence. It is crappy it has to come to rocks, but there really is no other way.