Ep[605]

[Cassie Goldsmith]

Was I shocked by the results of the last Judgement? Yes and no. I definitely felt like something was up because people were acting SO weird. I didn't want to split the votes, but Dominic manipulated so hard to get us to. And really, it wouldn't have mattered what I thought because Dom got Michael to switch his vote before Michael left, and Michael would not have gotten back before the deadline to change it back. But Dominic persisted that Chase change his vote too. Was it a great move on Dominic's part? Absolutely! I won't take credit for that. But he manipulated HARD. I think what bothers me more is that I know he is probably praising himself in his confessional and saying how great he is and how dumb me and Chase are.

Afterwards, Dominic was all like, "it wasn't a move against you at all! It was just against Quincy!"....Lying to me for 24 hours is a move against me whether he chooses to believe so or not. But I'm gonna suck up my pride and kiss Dominic's ass. I gave my word that I wouldn't go after him. I hope he keeps his. But he probably won't...I don't know what position I'm in on the tribe now. Colleen is mad at me, which is kinda lame. Yeah, I agreed to split the vote against her, but she obviously wasn't with us since the switch. So it would be hypocritical to be mad. It's awkward with Luca now, which sucks. I'm still on good terms with Selena, I think, and I am going to try to solidify a deal with her this round. She's the person I enjoy talking to the most on our tribe, and I think she is also in a pivotal position in the tribe. So I will try to make an alliance with her and see if that helps anything. Chase has an idol, but he just revealed to me last night that Dom is the one who helped him find it. Like wuttt? Ugh, that puts a totally new spin on things.

It's weird. I'm not used to feeling on the bottom or on the outs. I knew I was all day yesterday because people were avoiding talking strategy with me. But now it will be even worse because they know that I know I'm on the outs. I need to fake a smile and try my best. I don't want to go out this early, and I won't go down without a fight.

[Faith]

You're doing great hun! Pick yourself up and go in!

[Cassie Goldsmith]

Jun 26, 2013 15:41:45 GMT -5 Faith said:

You're doing great hun! Pick yourself up and go in!

Thank you!!! <3333

[Cassie Goldsmith]

I've been playing so sloppy and I hate myself for it...Cassie, SHUT UP!!!

[Cassie Goldsmith]

Well being immune at Judgement is a pretty nice feeling. It's been a rollercoaster of a last few days for sure. I had to take a break from the game completely for like 24 hours. I just avoided talking to everyone and kind of just relaxed and focused on real life stuff. Thiago confronted me about how Quincy revealed to him that I felt like Thiago wasn't being genuine with me. Thiago acted all hurt and made a big deal about it. And it got me down, to be honest. I was like, "Why am I sitting online each day just basically gossiping to play this game?" And then Thiago was like, "I think you're just upset because you got caught." I hate when he does that. I don't like when people think that they know what you're thinking and how you're feeling when they're completely wrong. I wasn't upset I was caught. I was upset that this game was getting so rough and that I was stupid enough to trust Quincy when he was being fake to me the whole time. I was upset that I was putting so much heart into an online game when I should just be focusing on my life outside of the game. But Thiago is a smart cookie outside of this game, and he reminds me of someone I know really well in real life. And this person I know always assumes they know what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling. Thiago reminds me a lot of him. It was just really off putting that he acted like it was such a personal attack against him. He was overdramatic about how big of a deal it was. He said he trusted me SO much and that it was such a huge move against him. I thought he was acting shady. That is that. I think he wanted me to feel remorse. I did a little, but it doesn't change the fact that now I can't work closely with him because now he will never trust me. I mean he told me he won't trust me again but he has to work with me because he has no other choice. That was a great compliment. So I apologized, and I meant it. But now I can never trust him either. So it is what it is.

After that confrontation, I was a little shaken up. I take things too personally, and honestly I felt just so done with this game. Look at little dramatic Cassie. One round on the outs and it is like the biggest deal in the world. I'm not used to the feeling. It sounds bratty, but it's true. I feel like people are avoiding me, and it just is not a good feeling. I'm trying to mend fences, but I don't know. People are just being weird. Dominic keeps like weirdly snapping at me. He accused me of insinuating that he was homophobic last night. lolwut? He completely misconstrued all of my words. That's the second time something like that has happened with him. I just don't get it. Chase said he's been acting the same thing with him. I just don't appreciate it.

Last night, I chatted with Selena. She promised me she was voting for Luca this round. I hope she is being genuine. It could all be a ploy. I mean for all I know, Luca could have an idol or something. But I want to trust Selena. I feel closest to her on a personal level. Chase hasn't decided yet whether he will play his idol. I told him that if he doesn't, he should pass it to me just for safe keeping. I don't want to risk it getting flushed. I think I mended things with Colleen. I mean, we aren't like allies or anything, but we are at least getting along well and chatting. It doesn't bother me if we don't work together in this game, but we have known each other for a few years and I don't want this game to ruin our relationship outside of the game. So chatting with her last night made me feel a little better about things.

So hopefully this round Luca will go. I feel good about voting for him because he honestly has barely been around, and i haven't had the chance to get to know him whatsoever. I feel like even if it doesn't work out somehow, I am not ruffling that many feathers by voting Luca. Chase wanted to push for Colleen at first, but I know I didn't want to go against Colleen again and make things worse. It bothers me that Dominic is in such a great position. But there's not much I can do about that right now. We really need Selena's vote. If Luca is voted out this round, I will feel a lot better about my position on this tribe because I really trust Chase and Michael. So I just hope everything works out, but I am prepared for a surprise like last time. Getting comfortable is always a mistake. Trust can just be thrown out the window. And almost every word is a lie.

[Cassie Goldsmith]

I don't know if I have to post something to say that i accept the idol being transferred to me from Chase. But if I do, then this is my post! haha