Round 3: TGIF

[mark]

And this title is completely irrelevant to the game, but it means that HELL WEEK IS OVER! And I can focus better on this game!

I will have to say, when explaining this challenge to my wife Megan, I told her all I need to do was post pictures of my balls and then Ben would do the rest. She immediately became reticent of my participation in this game. Ricky had some 'splainin' to do.

Mark 17:4
Thou shalt not post pictures of your balls anywhere on the internet. Especially if you are wed.

Annie told me on her way out the door that Gloria had targeted me in round one, but we won immunity, so it became a moot point. And then she proceeded to tell me that Ben, Gloria, and Dominic were besties, implying that I would be following shortly.
Of course the one getting voted out is always going to have to stir the pot a little bit.

But it does give me pause. I just will probably never be comfortable with Gloria in this game. I know she's talking with Dom in the background. I'm pretty sure she already knew about my idol before I told her. That's the problem with this alliance of brotherhood I have right now. I think they are too free with information. I don't like that. But then again, maybe I'm having my typical All-Star paranoia....

Demons, demons, DEMONS! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Gloria keeps mentioning things from last game that tells me she's still holding on to things. She just now told me she was pissed from the previous game that I had sent her a smiley when she was voted out. Honestly...I don't even remember this! And if she does, that tells me something. At this very moment, she's fleshing out with me the events of how the vote got changed to me during that round that she got blindsided. All of which I know, but I'm acting like it's a surprise to me. Oh Thiago, how could you do such a dirty thing???

I feel a little uneasy. I've been all over the gamut of emotions about this game from apethy, to apprehension, to a moment of comfort...the moment I walked into the idol thread. Now everyone and their dog knows I have it. But let's face it...someone was bound to find the answer, and then clearly see the idol had been found. You can't hide very well among 6 people.

I just feel like there's no way in heck these people are going to let me get far into this game. Why would they? I mean, look at it...the only people that have left this game so far have been finalists. Thiago was telling me last night that Henry knows who I am, thinks I don't like him, and is concerned of a season 5 alliance. I'm concerned of people thinking that, and if we lose again and one of Michael or Wendy go, then it will probably be confirmed in people's minds.

I just need to take a breath. All this stuff goes on in every game. I can't overplay. I can't be over-paranoid. I've got to stay chill. Right now I have to trust Dominic at face value. Otherwise, I will go crazy. But there is a part of me that senses all this stiff is going on behind my back between Ben, Dominic, and Gloria. I just don't know.

Breath, Mark. Just Breath.

[mark]

I knew in my heart that we were going to lose this challenge. I messed up and still managed to better than Michael and Wendy.

But there are bigger issues to deal with, to be summed up in one word. Gloria.

It's crossed the line now. She has baited me, insulted me, patronized me...you name it. I had a gut feeling something was up with her and that it included Dom. Alex just told me that Gloria has spilled all these things about me, blaming Thiago as the source. I don't buy it. Now I wouldn't put it past Thiago to do such a thing, but he's also not stupid.

Gloria...be prepared. You should have left well enough alone. That's all I have to say. Game on.

Puerto Rico' s never seen such a party, girlfriend.

[mark]

This round has been really rich. Knox asks me to keep his name out of all this, even my confessionals. Well...sorry but I had already spilled it to a few people...and my confessionals. And if this upsets things and relationships, then I'm sorry. Only I'm not. If Gloria can't handle this game and the strain it puts on relationships, I'd suggest that she reevaluate why she plays in the first place. It's called growing up.

But this has been a little more hectic than it should have been. In the process, though, my eyes have been opened to stuff. Well opened *more* to stuff. Of course Gloria's gonna go down with a fight. And I respect that. But in her fight she spilled things about alliances she was in, and a group she says is looming before us. Which is something Dominic said she would do. That group being Ellen and Luca...which everyone already knew. But she says that Dominic is a big part of it, as well as Ben. AND Selena...which is why Knox, Hannah, and Selena aren't banding together to off Luca. I mean, that seems like a no-brainer to me. Anyway, I could brush this off as Gloria clawing, but she showed me text messages from Ellen and Dom, about how Dominic had told her about my idol, had even told her he was gonna ask me to help find it. Ellen's text was about *this* very night where Gloria is on her way out the door, and Ellen says she doesn't have anything to say, doesn't know what to say, doesn't have anything to offer. That means Ellen is very well aware of what is going on, and she shouldn't. It would have to be Dominic or Ben. Of course I tell Chase this, but I can't freak out about it now. There are too many of them. It can't last for long. So I will have to watch myself very closely.

This brings me to something I did that may or may not have been stupid, but whatever. I told Henry about it, thinking he might be somewhat neutral, based on the fact that Thiago told me he was ready to side with Extinction 5. *shrug* I may have jumped the gun, but whatever.

Now all this leads to the fact that I feel like I need to be playing my idol. And I'm not.

If it's my time to go, it's my time to go.