Confessional

[ben]

Week 1

My tribe Skyped during Immunity, which I worked through - I came on toward the end and everyone was there except Mark. I was worried about my position but when I spoke to Dominic, I proposed a foursome between him, Gloria, Mark, and I - he seemed down for it because he seemed to think Annie, Michael, and Wendy are together anyway - awesome! This is the plan and I'm sticking to it.

[ben]

Week 2

I flopped for immunity, I worked both days yesterday and today, and yesterday I had to deal with something personal but hopefully everything is back on track. Blah. I feel like I may be targeted due to my lack of activity or challenge performance (funny, in season 5 I was targeted for being too good... how things change). But I'm falling back on my foursome I created last round with Dominic, Gloria, and Mark. We all seem down for it so there is no reason that the four of our votes should not be majority. Dominic wants to vote Annie, I really don't care so that sounds lovely. The only thing I was worried about was Mark because Mark seemed to think Annie and Dominic were fun, and he liked Gloria as well. If that's the case, it may wind up being Michael or Wendy which I really wouldn't mind anyway. The thing is, Michael is prob the most likely to be paranoid so if he has an idol he'd use it which is lulz since it's looking like Annie currently. We'll see.

Deuces to your mooses!

[ben]

Even though I have been working a lot lately I probably would have more time if I wanted to make it but I feel pretty secure as it is... and I don't want to come off looking like a huge threat like I did in season 5. Oops2me.

[ben]

Week 3

Haha I guess I am useless? Poor Jesus sacrificed himself for me. What a funny joke!

Anyway I am hoping I stepped it up with my challenge performance. It's so hard not only with my job but juggling multiple games (All-Stars at that!). It's like I put in effort here and slack elsewhere, but whateva. I'm trying! I had today off of work (FINALLY!) so I was able to participate in the challenge, and I caught every single ball except like 3 when the board went down shortly. Other than that, I think I did well. No one can blame me for losing this damn challenge at least, so bitches can get OFF my dick.

Speaking of targets should we lose... Mark shared with me some interesting information.

Mark Jeffcoat 4:05 pm
Well what would be best for us in the long run? Do we worry about challenge strength at this point?


Gloria 4:06 pm
I think we know who the weak links are. Ben hasn't participated at all...I'm not okay with that but I know he can be good at challenges.



Mark Jeffcoat 4:06 pm
yeah...what's with him? is he not into this game?



Gloria 4:06 pm
And he's my friend but doesn't salvage him from not participating



Gloria 4:06 pm
I'm not sure. If he's not them we can boot him as an easy boot?



Mark Jeffcoat 4:07 pm
well, Wendy has contributed just as little as he has

I mean, it doesn't sound SUPER incriminating, but he said Gloria was pushing for me to go originally, before the target was Annie. That makes me feel meh, I guess. But like I said - it's not super incriminating on Gloria's part... it's just if it wasn't a big deal, why wouldn't Gloria just tell me about it? Whateva lol. Anyway Mark was telling me how Gloria lied to him saying Annie wanted him out and he just found out it was a lie or whatever, so he's not sure about her. At the same time, Gloria texts me like, "Would you be willing to boot Mark? Don't tell anyone." I was like what the fuck. Why can't a goddamn alliance maintain it's shit. I messaged Dominic, since we're obviously going to be impacted by all of this asking for his opinions and we're kinda both on the same ground. We want Michael out, and we want our foursome to stay together for a bit longer.

Here's why, though. Last night Dominic and Ellen Skyped with me explaining what was going down in the game while I was working. Ellen and Mark got the idol (Mark confided this with me after I found out from Ellen/Dominic and I acted shocked. I'm glad he confided in me though, makes me trust him more!) and apparently as soon as Mark got it, so did Knox/Thiago so they're all together. At the same time, Thiago was edging the AJ/Cassie rivalry against Ellen on and trying to play middle man so AJ/Cassie/Chase/etc. are building up over there against Ellen, who I definitely trust. It's weird, I guess. I adore AJ of course, but I disagree with her views on Ellen and I think Cassie is planting seeds in her head to turn her against Ellen. For example, AJ told me Cassie told her Ellen wanted AJ out. I asked Ellen about this, and she said Cassie over exaggerated what Ellen had said, and it was really no big deal. I trust Ellen over Cassie. Awhile back on Skype, Cassie had asked, "I mean, who isn't playing All-Stars already??" when I wasn't even cast yet, so clearly... she has had her game face on for awhile and is a huge threat.

Anyway how does this relate to wanting Michael out? Well, Michael is definitely going to be a number for them, and he has to go before they get too strong. Our alliance is currently Ellen/Colleen/Dominic/Ben... whaddaya know? The Ellis foursome. <3 We are working with Gloria and Luca as well, and we'd like to work with Thiago/Knox/Mark but we're worried they're gonna be middle men between us and Cassie/AJ/Chase/Michael/Hannah/etc. So we'll see...

We need to save Colleen on that tribe though. If their tribe loses and boots Colleen, then the game is on for sure. Not that it already ISN'T game on. I mean, like Cassie said. Who isn't already playing the game? heh

[ben]

Right now I am hoping for Legatu to win immunity again, and for Michael and Hannah to take a hike. Fingers crossed.

Also, I don't like Wendy. I would love for her to go personally, but I think strategically that Michael is the one more closely aligned with Cassie and Company, so he is the bigger threat and needs to go.

xx Ben

[ben]

I'm so annoyed. Why does everything fall apart while I'm not around. Usually I'm at work but this time I was at the movies.

Gloria told everyone about Mark having the idol and it got back to us, so Gloria pushed hard for Mark to go and now Mark is pushing for Gloria to go, so we basically have to choose between the two. MEGA FUCKING EYE ROLL. On top of this, Wendy is apparently annoyed that I don't talk to her. Like, ok. Get over yourself. You voted for me, so get off your dick and talk to me yourself.

Gloria fucked herself this round and I feel bad since I told Dominic about her telling me something but it wasn't even big so whatever, she did this to herself by spreading rumors. Next week we are gonna need Mark to stick with Dominic and I because Wendy and Michael are obviously together. This fucking sucks. But don't get me wrong, I trust Mark. Just. RAWR.

[ben]

Tbh I'm only really doing this bc Dominic prob won't keep Gloria and even if he would, I don't want rocks anyway. So hop on the train at LAX with dreams of tribal unity bro

[ben]

Week 4

I woke up today (after my nap) and found out I was being targeted pretty hardcore by Gloria, which is disheartening. I mean. I can't blame her since I was voting for her as well, but it just sucked it was falling back on me. I messaged everyone on my tribe and got short responses from Mark and he asked if he should use his idol. After the deadline, he was like "be honest, am I going?" I was like wth no lol why is everyone so fucking paranoid. Michael, too, said he heard he was going. I was like noooo lol. I think Gloria tried to stir up too much shit which was a good effort. Yayy I stayed though and no one even voted for me hot hot hot.

Anyway tribe swap! I'm with Ellen (and Mark), who I trust, and a bunch of people I don't know if I can trust. I think I can trust AJ, but I'm not sure for how long or how genuine she will be. Blah apparently she has been playing dirty but I don't know if I believe all of it. It's hard to believe because AJ is a sweetheart =\ ugh. I don't want to believe it and prob won't until I see it. Right now it looks like Ellen and I may be screwed on Legatu but Proelia seems to be agreeing to throw immunities, which will be good for Ellen and I. Fingers crossed!

Also totes bummed I'm not with Colleen.

[ben]

Yay Ellen and I won immunity lmao. We're just chillen in Nazi Germany nbd.

My plan is to act is up that I'm all #TeamAJ so hopefully that's where we're goin'. ;D

[ben]

Me/Luca/Colleen/Ellen/Dominic and.... wait for it.... SELENA are a f6? LOL nbd my besties n my enemy, s'ok though. Selena and I can hopefully rewrite history and wind up on the right side this time. I really do like her so I think we should be ok moving forward. =]

Hopefully they're ok over there even with Chase's idol and I think they're getting him to split votes... They're trying to get Colleen and throwing a vote toward Luca or something? idk It'll be interesting and once that's all done, their gig will be up. I'm gonna act shocked and hopefully remain under the radar with AJ and Company so they think they have me? No idea. We'll see. D: I just don't wanna be taken out for being close to Ellen. If we lose immunity it could be game over. I'm scared shitless y'all.

[ben]

blah

[ben]

Week 5

This immunity challenge looks difficult to throw since none of our alliance members are paired up together so it's going to be a total shitfest, especially since there's no real way to guarantee that Ellen or I win individual immunity should we lose. Which in that case, Ellen will use her idol and we have to hope and pray I can fake it up enough that they don't split their votes with me. MAYBE they will vote Wendy before me IF and ONLY IF they think I am down with the AJ/Chase brigade, aka the "We Hate Ellen" club.... I also feel like I have an "in" with Mark but I know he has told me that he feels like I'm straying away from talking to him recently and I'm not telling him "everything." So whatever. I doubt they will let me through, especially if Thiago has anything to do with it. I hate him. So fucking much.

Did I mention our first convo? When he was like, "Oh. New tribes. I'm sure I'll be the first one voted out..." and I was like, "Awww nooo you won't. You're good!" and he was like "Nah, I'm sure I will. After all, I only have a social game, and no strategy, right?" I was like... MAJORRRR -______- Because that's what I said in the Jury House from last season. And what the fuck EVER. I still think he plays a pussy-game. Like, he doesn't own up to his own moves and he uses the fuck out of people. It's disgusting, annoying, and cowardice. Like, grow some fucking balls and fuck yourself with them.

xoxo Ben

[ben]

Week 5

This immunity challenge looks difficult to throw since none of our alliance members are paired up together so it's going to be a total shitfest, especially since there's no real way to guarantee that Ellen or I win individual immunity should we lose. Which in that case, Ellen will use her idol and we have to hope and pray I can fake it up enough that they don't split their votes with me. MAYBE they will vote Wendy before me IF and ONLY IF they think I am down with the AJ/Chase brigade, aka the "We Hate Ellen" club.... I also feel like I have an "in" with Mark but I know he has told me that he feels like I'm straying away from talking to him recently and I'm not telling him "everything." So whatever. I doubt they will let me through, especially if Thiago has anything to do with it. I hate him. So fucking much.

Did I mention our first convo? When he was like, "Oh. New tribes. I'm sure I'll be the first one voted out..." and I was like, "Awww nooo you won't. You're good!" and he was like "Nah, I'm sure I will. After all, I only have a social game, and no strategy, right?" I was like... MAJORRRR -______- Because that's what I said in the Jury House from last season. And what the fuck EVER. I still think he plays a pussy-game. Like, he doesn't own up to his own moves and he uses the fuck out of people. It's disgusting, annoying, and cowardice. Like, grow some fucking balls and fuck yourself with them.

xoxo Ben

[ben]

I threw thiago under the bus to aj bc I thought we were going to tc and I thought it was my only shot awkward if we win now pls win LOL

(Thiago copy pasting what people said about Ellen to Ellen and sitting pretty in the middle. Many things are irreparable but aj and I are not so please save me!!)

[ben]

This challenge is difficult bc there's no real skill aspect to winning - it comes down to social skills and luck, which I happen to have neither recently, oh well. The plan is for me to post 145, and people will continually post upward to 146-150, to maximize mine and Ellen's chances at winning immunity. I've been working on strengthening my bond with AJ in the event we do lose immunity that maybe they will keep me over someone like.... say, Wendy. I'm trying to distance myself from Ellen for that sole reason, though of course I am going to be loyal to her over these people.

And Mark confronted me like, "Why didn't you tell me you are close to Ellen? Why didn't you tell me you and Colleen are like besties?" etc. And I'm like dafuq bro I didn't know I had to baby you. I figured half of that was public knowledge + I said I wouldn't vote them out unless I had to, but I wouldn't toss Mark to the side for them because I know I can't beat them, and I have to make moves, etc. I doubt he bought it since the dude is clearly having trust issues with me. Oh well. I tried.

I need him though. D: Halp