Ben loves BJ's in Boxes. <3

[ben]

This is all I have to say:

[ben]

Juuuuust kidding, tbh.

Let me begin by explaining my thread title, it was my secret alliance name with AJ and Knox. AJ and I made BJ, and Knox and I made BOX. These two were two of my favorite secret alliances of the entire game, third and fourth to BENDY and BENRY <3 because they were so flawless. Anywhooo congrats you guys on the final 3! You all obviously did something right, even if it was bow down to the Gods of luck.

You can say there was a lot of strategy involved in choosing the vote, and while I do agree that a lot of strategy is indeed involved in choosing who to vote, I thoroughly believe it almost entirely comes down to luck when comes down to how the other side actually thinks. You can guess and guess but you never know, and it's not strategy when you're analyzing how they're gonna vote, IMO, because there are just SO MANY ways a group of people can vote, play idols, etc. It's like inception.

Anywhoooo x2 let me get to your individual assessments.

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AJ, I think you are a beautiful person inside and out and I am so glad I got to meet you after season 3. It sucked voting you out there and I am sure it sucked voting me out here, but you made it to the Final 3 without me and the move paid off, so congratulations. I am and I am not hurt that you voted me out since I voted you out in season 3, but here everything was out int he open and I do feel as though I was honest with you in the game, maybe other than the time I told Ellen what you said about her but it was honestly just to get to the bottom of things, not to throw you under the bus. I do feel a lot of actions or things you said about me prompted others to call me a "disgusting human being" which I found atrocious and from then on kind of defeated me morally, but I don't blame you for using what you could to turn people to your side, it just became very personal with comments like that for me, and I do think you had a large hand in why some of these comments happened -- not directly, more indirectly though. I want you to own up to your actions in this game, so with that being said here are a couple of questions:

1. Did you ever consider keeping me the round I left?
2. You said you didn't keep me because I gave you nothing to prove my trust to you? What about the time I threw Ellen and Thiago under the bus to you?
3. Everyone and their mother knew there was a split vote plan the round Wendy left (except Wendy), so tell me why you lied to me and said there wasn't.
4. Can you name a single time I lied to you in this game? If so, when and about what?
5. If I weren't immune the round Wendy left, what would have happened? Would you have tried to save me whatsoever.

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Knox, your Fallen Comrade shit pissed me off tbqh. For one, you started off saying you have defended me a number of times in the past because people were disgusting to me? Thanks...? All it made me think was that you were insinuating I was a hypocrite because you believed I was a disgusting human being here? I don't get it. Maybe it's just because that was something I was really sensitive about and that's how I interpreted it, but by all means, clarify what you meant because that legitimately pissed me off since I do not feel like I've done anything in this game to deserve to be called a disgusting human being. If anything, I can't even recall a single time I've lied. I was 110% honest to Mark the round he left and I was returned with this "disgusting human being" bullshit spat in my face. I honestly cannot recall a single time I have lied in this game. Moving forward, you also said you heard that I was talking shit about you and spreading rumors about you in this game? LOL I'd like to know where this came from because as far as I know, your name never came out of my mouth until we were merged because I honestly forgot you even existed until then. That's all I really have to say to you because you and I had virtually no relationship this entire game. Anyway yeah your questions listed below are:

1. Explain your Fallen Comrades.
2. Where did you hear I was talking about you behind your back?
3. ^ What did I say? o.O I honestly don't recall this.
4. You said in one of your responses that it was your "plan" for you to receive votes the round Wendy left, because you were confident you would stay... When did you have any say in you receiving votes? Ellen and I decided this, and if I recall correctly, I did more than Ellen because I didn't want to vote for AJ or Mark, and she didn't want to vote for Thiago.
5. This isn't a question, but an apology because I know I sound harsh but I'm genuinely curious and the "disgusting human being" comment pissed me off and I know I took it out on you so I'm sorry for that.

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That's all Big Ben's got. Good luck you guys! May the best minority win. <3

[LuCat]

<3

[Meow]

<3 u go glen coco

[knox]

Aug 3, 2013 3:15:14 GMT -5 ben said:

Knox, your Fallen Comrade shit pissed me off tbqh. For one, you started off saying you have defended me a number of times in the past because people were disgusting to me? Thanks...? All it made me think was that you were insinuating I was a hypocrite because you believed I was a disgusting human being here? I don't get it. Maybe it's just because that was something I was really sensitive about and that's how I interpreted it, but by all means, clarify what you meant because that legitimately pissed me off since I do not feel like I've done anything in this game to deserve to be called a disgusting human being. If anything, I can't even recall a single time I've lied. I was 110% honest to Mark the round he left and I was returned with this "disgusting human being" bullshit spat in my face. I honestly cannot recall a single time I have lied in this game. Moving forward, you also said you heard that I was talking shit about you and spreading rumors about you in this game? LOL I'd like to know where this came from because as far as I know, your name never came out of my mouth until we were merged because I honestly forgot you even existed until then. That's all I really have to say to you because you and I had virtually no relationship this entire game. Anyway yeah your questions listed below are:

Hey Ben, thank you for giving a chance at your vote. I will not address this statement because I believe it is all covered in the questions. So I will just get down to those.

1. Explain your Fallen Comrades.

~I guess I worded it wrong. Apparently, I did that a lot of times because a few people came to me complaining that what I said sounded like something I completely did not mean. I was talking about BBCurve when you played Dino and I was Prediction Writing. I remember at that point you had just came out of the closet and this hagress Lori was being disgusting [her, not you] and making homophobic comments that made you want to quit the game. So I wrote in your confessional and stoof up for you against that hagress even though that was kind of not very PWerish of me. That's what I was refering to. I was not trying to be insulting or anything along those lines. Like you said, we had no relationship in this game so it was hard for me to actually come up with stuff to say. But I had been exploring my past games and I saw that and it made me have fond memories of you, and it made me sad that we seemed to have grown so apart when at one point we were pretty damn close. So, I guess I was trying to go for a sense of nostalgia and remembering the past not anything else.

I'll address the "disgusting human being" comment for another question.

2. Where did you hear I was talking about you behind your back?
3. ^ What did I say? o.O I honestly don't recall this.

~ Actually, I was re-reading my confessional earlier, and a lot of it was me assuming things, like when I saw the disgusting human being thing I was mortified because I had said that once [explanation for that coming on question 5] and I thought someone was telling you that kind of stuff.

As we know some people here were very keen in starting up stuff and furthering the divide. So a lot of it came from there. However, what I was mainly refering to is the night after we had the skype call where Morgan, Ellen, Dominic and AJ were. Henry came to me the next morning and told me to keep it in the DL but that you had approached him and told him that me and AJ were getting really chummy with Dom/Ellen [or something along those lines, chummy might not have been the exact word] and that you were getting really nervous about it. To me that was shady because during the skype call we barely talked about the game and actually I barely even talked. So to hear that you had said that made me think that you were trying to make Henry doubt my loyalty to our side. If you were or not, I don't know, but it was definitively not true and it made me mad.

4. You said in one of your responses that it was your "plan" for you to receive votes the round Wendy left, because you were confident you would stay... When did you have any say in you receiving votes? Ellen and I decided this, and if I recall correctly, I did more than Ellen because I didn't want to vote for AJ or Mark, and she didn't want to vote for Thiago.

~ I did not decide if you guys were voting for me, whatsoever. However, by telling Wendy that the plan was for me to be "blindsided" if Ellen played an idol, that meant that I would get her vote. We said that if you guys asked, or if Wendy was to tell you she would say my name, thus maybe influencing you guys to vote for me. Whether that happened or not, I don't know. I was not there when you guys discussed the vote, but from what I heard [which could be wrong] you guys settled on me because Wendy might have voted for me.

5. This isn't a question, but an apology because I know I sound harsh but I'm genuinely curious and the "disgusting human being" comment pissed me off and I know I took it out on you so I'm sorry for that.

~ Look, I feel absolutely horrible about saying that which is why I came to you to appologize about it and then you told me that it was a Mark quote. I should have never EVER said something like that, it was petty, uncalled for and completely untrue. I honestly don't recall what exactly prompted me to say it but here are some things that I think probably had something to do with it:
1. Hearing that you were trying to manipulate AJ through her friendship to make moves that wouldn't really benefit.
2. Hearing you were talking shit about me.
3. The Mark vote, and hearing he had only played the game because you asked him and then you kind of not helping him out.

In all honesty I can say that I was really angry, and when I get really angry I say really stupid stuff that I don't mean. I have a really bad temper and really lose lips and I just flip out and say things that I often regret and that is why I appologized about it. I was really close to Mark and AJ so hearing that someone had used them got me riled up and I said a comment that was stupid and unnecessary. I think throughout the game I was very frustrated with you and the more I heard that you kept saying I was dumb or boring it made me mad and the more I talked shit and said stupid stuff like that. I truly, deeply appologize for that comment and that it hit you so hard. I won't say it was not my intention since I did say it, but I feel horrible that it affected you. I wish I could take it back and never have said it.

Regardless of what happens in this game I am really sorry, and I absolutely love to chat once it is all over and clear the air and maybe give the friendship we once a shot or something. Up to you, of course.

Right now, I am super tired and I hope I made sense. If I didn't though, please let me know so that I can correct myself, or further explain. Likewise if you have questions or comments.

[aj]

Hey Big Ben, I appreciate your kind words, thank you.

1. Did you ever consider keeping me the round I left?

Yes, I did consider keeping you. You gave me a tempting offer, and I believed 100% that you and Dominic would stay true to that. Cassie and I thoroughly thought about it, but we were confident with the position we were in within our group of 5 to decline your offer and continue with them.

2. You said you didn't keep me because I gave you nothing to prove my trust to you? What about the time I threw Ellen and Thiago under the bus to you?

If I told you that, that’s absolutely not the reason I didn’t keep you, so I apologize for saying that. I fully trusted that you would have kept your end of the deal, however like I’ve said many times, I didn’t feel like I needed to take it because I was confident I could get to this point by sticking with my alliance.

3. Everyone and their mother knew there was a split vote plan the round Wendy left (except Wendy), so tell me why you lied to me and said there wasn't.

Thiago said that he still felt that he could convince Ellen and Dominic that he was working with him. So he wanted to do that thing where we all went into a chatroom and addressed the vote or whatever. I kind of just went along with it, to be honest. I didn’t think that it solved much, because yeah it was pretty obvious that the vote was split. I just didn’t want to stir anything extra at that point, so I just kept quiet about it.

4. Can you name a single time I lied to you in this game? If so, when and about what?

I actually cannot recall a time where you directly lied to my face in this game.

5. If I weren't immune the round Wendy left, what would have happened? Would you have tried to save me whatsoever.

I would have wanted you to stay, however, I wouldn’t have tried to save you. We would have split the votes 3-3 between you and Ellen, and I assume Ellen would have played her idol on herself, and you would have gone home. If I tried to save you, I would have severely risked my position within my alliance.

Thanks Big Ben, let me know if you need to know anything else. Good luck with your decision.