Ellen's Questions/Statements

[ellen]

First of all, congratulations. This was not an easy game and you should all be proud of yourselves for making it to where you are. Accolades all around.

I've honestly spent a lot of time thinking about how I'd like to address the three of you, but even now, standing here in front of you guys, I'm still not completely sure. It's not that I don't have anything to say... quite the contrary in fact; it's more that I'm at a loss for how to even begin to say it. I guess that I'll just go ahead and dive right in by addressing each of you individually.

AJ, everyone talks about what a wonderful person you are outside of the game and I know deep down that they are absolutely right. You have a huge heart. I remember voting you out in The Plagues and how incredibly gut-wrenching it was for all of us to do that because you are such a lovable person; everyone adored you, myself included. It's incredible to look back on that now and see how much you've transformed as a player between seasons.

As proud of you as I am though, a lot of your actions in this game really hurt me on a personal level. I think part of that pain comes from the fact that I'm still really baffled about a lot of things. Ultimately I’m left asking why?

You say that I was a huge threat, which maybe I should be honored that you thought that, but there were 19 other people in this cast. I was not the only "dangerous" player in the mix and I'd even argue that there were several players far more deadly than I could ever dream of being. I'd even say that one of them is sitting next to you.

Still, you made it your personal mission to take me out and you started laying the groundwork to do that months in advance of the start of this season. You planted seeds and you tried to make them grow which is really kind of mind blowing because a huge selling point that you brought against me was that -I- was the one playing the game too early. Just how early did -you- start playing the game AJ? For the record, that’s a rhetorical question, there’s no need to answer it. I think that the answer is pretty clear.

My actual question for you is pretty straightforward, just why? What was it that made you feel so compelled to focus your entire game on ruining mine and to go about it in, as you said yourself, such a petty way?

Knox, my Eduro buddy. You’ve come a long way from the beginning of this game. I’m truly proud of you for making it as far as you have and I honestly would love to vote for you tonight but I do have a few issues.

As many of my fellow jurors have expressed, this is not a game in which we reward the most honest person and no one gets to where you are tonight without bending the truth at least some of the time. With so many idols in this game, lying and bluffing about votes was essential to your survival. The best advice I can give to you is to own it.

The other thing I’d like to address involves your Fallen Comrades commentary. I was for the most part really flattered by what you said about me, but the part about Gloria threw me off. I’m honestly surprised and a little disappointed that you, having known Gloria the longest out of any of us, would take everything she tells you at face value, especially when she’s angry. It reminded me of how quick you apparently were to believe Gloria when she told you that Dominic and I are racists… to the point that you were afraid to talk to us on Skype because of it. I understand wanting to trust of people, but at a point you’re just being extremely impressionable. On top of that, to say that you came to Dominic and me directly whenever you were presented with this kind of information, that’s news to me. It makes me wonder, how many things did you hear about me and simply just accept as fact? If I’m going to give you my vote tonight I also need to know that you’re someone who can think and form opinions for himself.

And lastly, Thiago… for a long time I told myself that if you made it here, I’d simply pretend that you didn’t exist and that I was addressing a Final Two. I am still so incredibly hurt by some of the ways you tried to exploit our relationship and manipulate me in this game. It makes me feel dirty and ashamed.

I give credit though where credit is due, regardless of how slimy you were, you played the hell out of this game.

If you want any shot at my vote tonight, which I admit will still be a very long shot, you’re going to have to stop casting blame on other people and you’re going to have to stop playing the victim. It’s an insult to my intelligence when you do that, because I knew exactly what you were doing from very early on in the game.

And you can say that you were with me in the beginning, which is all fine and dandy, but regardless of whether you would have sided with me in a voting scenario or never would have written my name down, none of that changes the fact that you were still doing your best to make me into your human shield. To me that isn’t loyalty Thiago, that’s using me as a tool for your own game.

You made up fights between the two of us, fights that framed me as the bad guy and you instigated people to say bad things about me so that you could report it all back to me and sew distrust … and it was all incredibly transparent too. Cassie and I both caught onto it exclusively of one another right away.

So I can’t even really applaud it as good gameplay because it didn’t even work how I think you initially wanted it to. When I approached you about all of this your reaction was to use our years long friendship against me. The emotional guilt tripping that you employed from Round 4 to Round 11 still makes my stomach turn. And then to blame others and me for the path that you took in this game, it’s the ultimate slap in the face Thiago. We’re All-Stars so please give us a little more credit, because no one buys that cockamamie nonsense, especially not me.

I have only one question for you. If you become the first (and likely only) double winner of this series, was the damage done to our friendship worth the glory?

Good luck and thanks in advance to all of you for taking the time to address my questions/statements!

[knox]

Aug 3, 2013 1:22:14 GMT -5 ellen said:

Knox, my Eduro buddy. You’ve come a long way from the beginning of this game. I’m truly proud of you for making it as far as you have and I honestly would love to vote for you tonight but I do have a few issues.

As many of my fellow jurors have expressed, this is not a game in which we reward the most honest person and no one gets to where you are tonight without bending the truth at least some of the time. With so many idols in this game, lying and bluffing about votes was essential to your survival. The best advice I can give to you is to own it.

The other thing I’d like to address involves your Fallen Comrades commentary. I was for the most part really flattered by what you said about me, but the part about Gloria threw me off. I’m honestly surprised and a little disappointed that you, having known Gloria the longest out of any of us, would take everything she tells you at face value, especially when she’s angry. It reminded me of how quick you apparently were to believe Gloria when she told you that Dominic and I are racists… to the point that you were afraid to talk to us on Skype because of it. I understand wanting to trust of people, but at a point you’re just being extremely impressionable. On top of that, to say that you came to Dominic and me directly whenever you were presented with this kind of information, that’s news to me. It makes me wonder, how many things did you hear about me and simply just accept as fact? If I’m going to give you my vote tonight I also need to know that you’re someone who can think and form opinions for himself.

Hi Ellen! I'm really happy to hear that you are proud of me. I will do my best to address everything you said and satisfy you as I would be honored to have your vote.

I have to admit, this jury processing, like a lot of the game, has been truly eye-opening to me. I think I came into this truly believing I had been a really honest person and I had not lied or done anything of the sort. However, the more I answer questions and receive feedback I realize that I wasn't as honest as I want to believe I was. I think that honesty is such a huge part of my life, that I want to try and be true to myself like that but you are right in a game like Survivor you cannnot be 100% honest. However, I think that I wanted it to be true so badly that I convinced myself that I was and now I'm kind of in this really weird place where I am starting to think maybe I just don't realize when I lie, or I change things in my mind to not feel guilty. It's really weird, actually. But I guess this whole process is about self-discovery too.

I do think, however, that I played a clean[er] game, and I think that should have been my approach coming into Tribal Council as opposed to preaching honesty and never lying. I have not lied though during this final process though, if that helps for anything. Survivor is a game about lying, and even though I tried to avoid it as much as possible it seems that I did lie a lot more than I would like to believe myself. Sadly I cannot list all my lies, because until someone points it out then I don't realize it? It sounds really dumb, but I think I have tried so hard throughout this game to convince myself that I am a good person that I have kinda shunned all the other stuff and blocked it away.

I know Gloria much better than everyone else in this game, this is true, but it is also true that Gloria has never lied to me like she lies to other people. The talk about an alliance was well before she was angry [you are right, I know better than to believe what she says when she is angry] she told me that before the game started. She actually invited me one night to join you, Luca and... I don't remember who else [maybe Dom?] on a skype call so I could become part of your alliance. Maybe the alliance wasn't true, but that's what she told me, and the fact that she believed it to be true was enough for me to believe so.

I am a very naive person, and when someone tells me something I believe it. It's a real issue a lot of times, because I don't realize a lot of times that people just say stuff to mess with my mind, and I am very trusting, which honestly gets me in a lot of trouble both in real life and in ORG's.

ABout the racist thing... and forming opinions about myself. After Gloria was voted off, she would often come to me angered and just trying to talk bad about people who I liked, a lot of the times I ignored her and when I couldn't take it any longer I would tell her to stop, that I liked you guys, that you had never been mean to me, and stuff like that. Had I allowed Gloria to influence my opinion on you guys I would have stopped completely talking to you guys and maybe even blocked you. With the racist thing, she said it a million times really, but the night that I told her I was gonna skype with you guys she told me you guys used the term "spic" which really bothers me because I've been called that before and racism is something that really scares me. As a background tid-bit: I am the only international student at my school, and one time walking down town I was called both a fag and a spic and I got punched. Racism truly genuinely scares me, and I was terrified when I heard that. Did I think it was true? Not really, because she had said it before, but I was scared of the possibility. Especially because at that time Gloria was not being irrational Gloria just yelling insults but my calm friend who gives me good advice. So it was scary, but that is why I addressed it with Dominic.

I came more to Dominic than I came to you when I was conflicted though, because most of the opinions I heard were about him. The stuff I heard about you, in general, were game-wise and I didn't deem them important.

I am able to make an opinion for myself. I think I proved that once I didn't stop speaking to you or Dominic once people started telling me not to because of the sides and stuff. I heard a lot of rumors, and a lot of stuff that apparently you guys said; for example someone told me that the reason you guys had decided to vote for me every single round was because you had said that I was the one you guys would miss the least and had less impact in any of your games. Did I believe this person? No, absolutely not. I knew they were trying to make me stop talking to you guys and I didn't do that because I believe that I have to make opinions by myself through my own experiences. Do I listen to other people's advice? Absolutely, I would be a fool not to, when the source is reliable but ultimately my opinion is mine to form and if people don't like that I like someone that they don't appreciate then that is on them.

Another example, after the big Gloria blindside you can obviously expect the stuff she had to say. The warnings, the plottage, everything. I came to YOU to talk about how you felt about the whole situation and to tell you that she might calm down eventually. That was me following my own opinion of you that you were not this evil wench that had masterminded a blindside because you were heartless. Like that there are multiple other examples: when Dominic was often refered to as a bully, I still talked to him, I still tried to make sure he didn't feel horrible about it, I was still his friend. And so on and so forth.

I actually am someone who has very strong opinions about people, I am very opinionated and even stubborn in the sense that when I believe something I just don't change from that point of view. Which also gets me in a lot of trouble. Anyways, hope that answered your question, if you have any follow ups or any other statements or questions I would be happy to reply.

[thiago]

Hey Ellen, thanks for your question. I haven't been home yet and likely won't have computer access until late tonight or Sunday so until I can answer my questions thoroughly I'm going to not be able to answer right away. I do want to address something that has even brought up by just about everyone from your alliance: me playing the victim. I spoke with you the most of those who have brought it up (I think we're at about 6 people now) and I just wanted some clarity so I know what this is in reference to when answering my questions, since no one has really specified anything I did which was playing the victim. It's not something that ever came up in the alliance I was in so any clarification would help me if you don't mind.

[Dominic]

We've already had this talk in private IM, but just to clear the air for all reading, I am NOT racist. This shouldn't even be something I need to defend in the forum of an online game, but yet TWO people have been called racist in this game. BB15-fever? I guess Gloria got more personal than I thought when she left. Knox, you can believe that Gloria never lies to you or whatever, but the fact is that Gloria's goal after she left was to tear us down no matter what she had to do. The fact it got so low just blows my mind. We had so many conversations before so you had enough to form your own opinion. Racism exists and I know it's scary, but never just believe everything you hear especially with something as severe as racism claims.

I don't care to go into further discussion about this because honestly if any of you believe I am racist in any way, shape, or form...then you honestly don't know me and shouldn't talk to me anyway. Done.

[thiago]

Another example, after the big Gloria blindside you can obviously expect the stuff she had to say. The warnings, the plottage, everything.

I just wanted to interject here for a second, and this is more of a message to Gloria if anything.

I like to keep games as kosher as possible, which includes not talking about the game at length with people after you've been voted off. There's nothing wrong with a goodbye or asking how they're doing, but having lengthy conversations with people once they're gone, to me, can come across as disingenuous and isn't really "SURVIVOR," but perhaps I'm a bit traditional when it comes to that.

Anyway, my point is that we ALL got IMs from Gloria trying to give us "tips" even after she had been voted off. I eventually had to block her for a period of time because it was annoying. You don't know shit once you're gone, or else you probably would still be in the game, so a message to Gloria in all future games: when you're out, stay out. It really cheapens the integrity of the game when you're trying to participate from the sidelines. The fact that her bitter self continues to get attention even at the Final 3 is really annoying.

[Snakelena]

Sorry, for invading the thread, but I can vouch for Ellen and Dominic by saying they never once used that word. Just for further clarification.

[aj]

Hey Ellen,

I’ll start off by saying that it really wasn’t my intention to focus my entire game on getting you out. I just want you to know that I wasn’t sitting on my computer 3 months before the game thinking “Muahaha how can I screw Ellen over in All Stars?” However, I am more than aware of why it came across that those were my intentions, and I fully admit that by me throwing your name out there and no one else’s, it came across as personal. Again, it wasn’t my intention, but it’s said and done and I can’t change things. Something else I’d like to add was that I myself was oblivious to the whole “AJ v. Ellen” until the first tribe switch, when Knox told me that’s how the game was being viewed. I remember being surprised, because I was blind to that. Once the game actually started, I talked very little about you since we were on different tribes. However, I guess the pregame stuff was so strong at that point that it didn’t even matter.

One other thing I want to tell you was that I had absolutely nothing to do with the picture that Chase made. He showed it to me of course, but I had absolutely nothing to do with the construction of that image, and I think the misconception that I did have a part in that really changed the way a lot of people viewed me in this game.

You mention that there are other big threats out there. I think the reason that you stood out to me over them was because I actually played with you in season 3. I didn’t watch season 4 and season 5 very closely, and I had almost no idea what happened in season 1 and 2. Like I’ve mentioned, you and I had a great relationship in season 3. But I still remember people coming into that jury house one by one feeling completely played by you. This shocked me just as much, because I never saw that side of you while I was in the game with you. I still thought you were a phenomenal player, but because I got really close to Chase, Dominic and Ben during the jury portion of season 3, I think how played they felt by you subconsciously made me think of you as this huge mastermind to never be trusted. That being said, I should have come into All Stars and realized immediately how much they trusted you, and disregarded any previous assumptions. But I didn't.

The other thing was that, I really was afraid you would strike first and get me out. I heard whispers about things you would say about me before the game, and truthfully, I overreacted. It shouldn’t have mattered; everything changes once the game actually starts. But I formed all these thoughts in my head about you going hardcore after me, and after the first tribe switch, I was scared out of my mind. That’s my only explanation, Ellen. I was scared. Looking back, I don’t know why I didn’t just talk to you about things at the beginning of the game. I guess at the time, I thought it would be awkward and that you would think I'd be doing that in a devious manner. However, if I talked to you, maybe then I would have known how close you were to Dominic, and the 3 of us could have teamed up, which probably would have been the ultimate trio.

I want to tell you that I am truly sorry for hurting you on a personal level. I really, really didn’t mean for things to end up like this. If it was obvious that the result of my actions would lead to this hurtful division, then I really have a lot of growing up to do. I respect you so much as a person and player. But I absolutely cannot deny that I wanted you out. Regardless of anything pregame or seemingly personal, you were my biggest threat. On a game level, I’m proud of myself for playing a role in your elimination, because making it further than you in this game is something I never thought I would be capable of doing before this game. I hope that regardless of if you vote for me to win or not, you will forgive me for anything petty that I did before or during the game, because that’s really not how I am as a person.

[ellen]

Thank you for your answers AJ and Knox. Good luck!

Aug 3, 2013 7:20:18 GMT -5 thiago said:

Hey Ellen, thanks for your question. I haven't been home yet and likely won't have computer access until late tonight or Sunday so until I can answer my questions thoroughly I'm going to not be able to answer right away. I do want to address something that has even brought up by just about everyone from your alliance: me playing the victim. I spoke with you the most of those who have brought it up (I think we're at about 6 people now) and I just wanted some clarity so I know what this is in reference to when answering my questions, since no one has really specified anything I did which was playing the victim. It's not something that ever came up in the alliance I was in so any clarification would help me if you don't mind.

Oh God, where to begin...

How did you play the victim? What am I referring to? Well, I can’t speak for other people, but in regards to me, I don’t have all day so I’ll just name a few examples.

First there was Round 2 or 3 I think it was, when I caught you playing both sides and then when I confronted you about it, you proceeded to act completely flabbergasted that I would take Colleen's word, "some girl" who I'd only known for six months, over you, who has been my friend for years.

After that you went on and on about how deeply hurt that it made you that I'd taken it upon myself to confront Colleen directly about the whole thing, which was an honest attempt on my part to get answers by the way, not a push to throw you under the bus like you made it out to be. It’s more evident now than ever that I had every right to be questioning you then. You were acting shadier than the tree that I was stuck under in Season 3. All you did though was try and turn it all back on other people and me, going so far as to accuse me of being a bad friend for even entertaining the notion that you were doing anything that didn’t run parallel to my best interests. You did this at multiple points in the game, holding our outside friendship over my head as collateral against me; it was simply another tool in your manipulation belt.

This happened again during the whole Wendy debacle, when you pretended like you had no idea about the vote split and went so far as to make a chat to "prove" that you had zero involvement in any plan. You were adamant that you’d been exploited and taken advantage of by the rest of the tribe when it was so obvious that you were in on it the whole time.

Which led to you going off on me a round or two later, having been brought to tears as you said, because of how deeply I’d hurt you for questioning where you stood and for comparing notes with other people. I was apparently so awful to you and had hurt you so much that you were contemplating quitting the game. You even went so far as to unfriend me on Facebook because of it and then didn’t talk to me for several rounds.

Finally, the round that you voted me out, you pretty much insinuated that I was to blame for the path you’d taken and that even though you’d “forgiven” me for all the horrible things I’d done, I’d made my bed and would have to lie in it. You even told me how unfair and awful of me it was for me to even ask you to keep me at that point.

So those are just a few examples that I can attest to. The truth of the matter is, no one forced you to play this game the way that you have played it Thiago. Using me as a tool in your arsenal is not synonymous with loyalty and just because I refused to be your pawn, doesn’t mean that I pushed you to do the things you ultimately did.

I hope that clears up any confusion.

[knox]

Aug 3, 2013 9:00:57 GMT -5 Dominic said:

We've already had this talk in private IM, but just to clear the air for all reading, I am NOT racist. This shouldn't even be something I need to defend in the forum of an online game, but yet TWO people have been called racist in this game. BB15-fever? I guess Gloria got more personal than I thought when she left. Knox, you can believe that Gloria never lies to you or whatever, but the fact is that Gloria's goal after she left was to tear us down no matter what she had to do. The fact it got so low just blows my mind. We had so many conversations before so you had enough to form your own opinion. Racism exists and I know it's scary, but never just believe everything you hear especially with something as severe as racism claims.

I don't care to go into further discussion about this because honestly if any of you believe I am racist in any way, shape, or form...then you honestly don't know me and shouldn't talk to me anyway. Done.

I do want to point out that I do not believe you, Ellen, or anyone in this cast is racist. Like I said before. I was just answering a question about how the situation went down, but I do not believe this to be true. If I thought anyone was racist I would have completely ignored them the whole game.

I also want to point out, that I did not block Gloria because she is my friend and everytime she would try to say anything about the game [and I'm sure she would be happy to confirm if asked] I would say "Stop" and then "I am playing my own game. Sorry." which led to a lot of arguing but that's the way it was.

I do not felt the need to block my best friend because she knows better than to try and do shit for me. She knows how I play the game, and either way she has a fuckload of SN's and facebook so she could have easily gotten to me that way.

Anyways, I do not think anyone is racist nor do I support any of the mean comments she said. Often times I would tell her to stop and we would argue because she said I didn't know people and I was being so resilient to defend people who I liked and considered my friends.

I do not want Gloria's actions or my association with her to affect my game or who I am as a person. I think we are all grown enough to know that not because we are friends with someone does that mean we are the same person or we share the same opinions and views. I want you guys to judge me for me, not for someone else. Thank you.

[thiago]

[ellen]

Thank you for your response and for answering my question Thiago. Good luck.

Morgan, I have all the information that I need to make my decision. You can lock this thread now.