Round 11

[aj]

JABBA DOES IT AGAIN!!!!! lol. Seriously though, Henry said it best last night; it’s like we’re playing some casino gambling game rather than Survivor. We seriously make our best guess each time, and I assume they do too. But 3 rounds in a row we’ve been successful. So we are definitely very lucky. Colleen being gone is great for my game. I have no doubt that she could have easily made the final 3. She is likeable and appears to be non threatening, so no one actually wants to vote her out. I mean the main reason she was voted out was association anyways.

I’d love to send her some sort of message regarding her elimination, but after Luca attacked me for saying sorry he was gone a couple rounds ago, I am too scared to IM anyone who gets voted off. Lol. I’m such a baby.

Having the numbers 5-3 definitely helps, but as long as the idols are getting buried, it’s still going to be a round of guessing and gambling. If we don’t find this idol, we’ll once again have to play “avoid the idol.” I’m so tired of doing that!!! Lol

By the way, Ellen has been immune EVERY SINGLE ROUND THIS ENTIRE GAME!!!!!! That is absolutely crazy. It’s final 8, and she has not been vulnerable.

I was just working on the challenge, but seriously it's so hard and I'm not getting anywhere. Surprise! Like always, I'm that girl who tries my hardest at challenges, and never does well. To be fair though, I did get a little distracted.



Alright, well I'm going to get back to attempting this challenge....An hour and 7 minutes to go...

[aj]

You know, I’m actually really glad that I skyped with Ellen, Ben and Dominic last night.

I always joke how if this game was real Survivor, we would have a divided camp with 2 separate shelters, haha. I guess Skyping with them was kind of like hanging out in the other shelter for the night.

Not going to lie; upon joining the Skype call, I was pretty nervous. I’m comfortable talking to Dominic, of course, but I hadn’t talked to Ellen over Skype this entire game, and every time we have talked on AIM, it’s been super brief, and our last AIM convo was literally 2 weeks ago. So I didn’t know how this chat was going to go. I joined the call feeling a little awkward, which resulted in me talking non stop for about 3 minutes. But I quickly realized that Ellen was just being her usual self, which really made me feel better. Then when Ben joined, I felt even more relieved because he was also just being his super sweet and fun self.

It really did feel like I was hanging out with “the other side” for the night, but rather than in a sneaky, deceptive way, it felt more like an awkward 4th wheel type of thing. Although they were all being really sweet and friendly, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were talking about me on the side. I honestly thought the 3 of them were going to corner me and ask me questions like “Hey so which one of us is the next to go?” or something like that. Luckily, the topic of GvsE didn’t come up much on this call, but I did feel pretty awkward the couple of times it did. It was definitely nice when Knox joined the call too, though I think he agreed that you could still feel a little bit of awkward tension. It was almost like we were cockblocking their strategy talk or something lol. But they invited us, so I guess it’s not really like that.

Overall though, this conversation really made me feel better. The fact that they are the minority in the game, and they still were willing to talk to me, I just really appreciated that. I did wonder if maybe it was some huge masterplan; like, they have a mastermind genius plan for judgement, and they’ll need me to like them when I end up on the jury lol. But I honestly wasn’t getting that feeling, so if it was strategy on their part, they did a good job of not making it feel like that. I guess throughout this game I’ve just felt so disliked by the 3 of them, and this Skype call showed me that they do understand that it’s just a game and they would talk to me after this is over, which is a huge relief for me. I really love all 3 of them, and I still hate that I didn't get to play this game on their side.

However, I don’t plan on telling Cassie, Thiago or Henry about this call. Knox may, who knows, but it won’t come out of my mouth. It’s not like the call did anything for me on a strategic level anyways, but I don’t want the rest of JABBA to think that I’m sucking up to them, plotting with them, or being manipulated by them. Because none of those things are happening.

[aj]

Well, last night was pretty intense.

It started out with our live immunity challenge, which I was absolutely no help in. Knox, Thiago and Henry were definitely making progress, but I really thought there was no way that Dominic or Ellen wouldn't win this one.

When Dominic won, I got that same secret-excitement that I have had for the last few rounds. I'm not really "supposed" to want him safe, but it just makes me happy that he'll survive another round, and that I don't need to try to convince my alliance that he should stay.

We were about to start our judgement planning, but then SURPRISE. We had a duel thing in order to win an HII. I totally felt like I was doing that Big Brother HOH, haha. But anyways, yeah that was pretty intense. I was the first out, of course. But watching the rest of it was super nerveracking. Luckily, Thiago emerged as the winner, making for one less thing that we have to worry about.

So we finally planned our judgement. Thiago wanted to vote out Ben to be "safe," but the rest of us wanted to vote off Ellen. We, like always, considered the fact that one of them could play an idol. But we feel like by the wording about the idol being "hidden at camp," it hasn't been found. But even if it has been, would Ellen really play it on herself again? Maybe, because she'd want to just secure final 7. But we didn't vote her out either of the times we thought she would play an idol. Maybe she would realize that, and give the idol to Ben? Regardless, I feel like voting for Ellen is a risk that it's about time for us to take.

Then, Henry comes up with a genius idea. (Yes, Cassie and Thiago had the same idea, but they briefly mentioned it whereas Henry wrote it all out, so I am giving Henry credit). Henry said that since they split their votes last round, it's very possible that they would do it again. So if Ellen played an idol, and they split their votes, we could still send Ben home if we split our own votes. So there's really no harm in splitting, because look at the different scenarios:

• The 5 of us could vote for Ellen, and Ellen would play an idol and the 3 of them would send one of us home.
  
• 3 of us could vote for Ellen, 2 of us could vote for Ben, Ellen would play an idol and the 3 of them would send one of us home (virtually the same scenario as the first)
  
• 3 of us could vote Ellen, 2 for Ben, and then they split their votes between 2 of us, Ellen plays an idol, and our 2 votes will send Ben home after a revote. ("added protection" as Henry called it)
  

So, considering that, there is no reason for us not to split it.

I love love love being aligned with Henry <3 he is SO smart, and I'll be so happy if he wins this game. He seriously deserves it so much. Like I really think he's the perfect player in every single way.

[aj]

I'm relieved that it went to a revote, and no idols were played. But before results and this afternoon, a couple things happened.



First, right before the first results were posted, Thiago asked me if I told Dominic that Thiago was our 5th wheel, and if I told him there was an iSurv1vor alliance. I told Thiago I didn’t those thing, and Thiago told me that the other side left him PMs trying to sway him. The deal they offered him was that if he used his idol to save whichever one of them we voted for, he could choose which of the 4 of us he wanted gone, and they would all vote for them. But Thiago obviously didn’t take the deal.

Thiago also showed me a message from Ellen, I’ll just post it here:

"I know you say that you felt on the outs of Legatu, and you also may or may not know that AJ, Cassie, Henry and Knox are all connected through the iSurvivor series and could very well have a Final Four deal. They do if AJ's phone conversation with Dominic held any truth. I'm not sure what deals you have in place for yourself, but take it that for what it's worth."

This really kind of disappointed me. If you remember, last round Dominic got really upset because he thought I went around telling people what him and I talked about over the phone the other night, which I never did. But apparently, he has been doing just that. Not that what he’s saying is accurate, because I NEVER hinted at anything regarding a f4 deal, that’s not even true. But still, Dominic is using that phone call against me, which is kind of frustrating, considering the way he acted when he thought I did that. Anyways, it’s whatever.



Then today, Cassie told me that Ellen told her a bunch of info. Ellen told Cassie that she wasn’t trying to get Thiago to flip, but that Thiago has been telling her everything our alliance has been saying about her this whole time, and he has been instigating stuff between the “sides” to make sure we hate each other. Cassie like totally believes everything Ellen is saying, because she thinks that because Ellen is for sure leaving and so there is no reason for Ellen to lie to her. So now Cassie is super frustrated because she says she realizes that Thiago has been instigating stuff this whole time and playing a middle man, like Ronnie in BB11.

My opinion? I don’t believe any of what Ellen is telling her. Like, it’s old news that Thiago told Ellen a bunch of stuff at the beginning of the game, but that passed long ago. I truly don’t believe that Thiago has been working with Ellen post merge. I mean, yeah she’s not his first choice to target, yeah he doesn’t choose her to go into the duel first, and yeah he still tries to get information out of her. But like, is he was really playing the middle role to “pull strings” and get the sides to go after each other? Nah, I don’t believe that at all. And Cassie is wondering why Ellen would lie to her when she’s leaving the game? Well Ellen wants her to switch her vote, obviously! Maybe I’m naïve, but I really don’t think Thiago has been anything but loyal to our group of 5. If Thiago thought he was the 5th wheel, he surely would have confronted me about it.

Side note, Ellen also told Cassie that Dominic said that I told him I would have chosen Chase over Cassie. I didn’t like flat out say this, but I think I told Dominic that Chase was my #1 ally, so I guess that implied that. So thanks, Dominic, once again for telling people about what was said on our phone call when you were so upset that you thought I told people about it. -___-

But yeah, my trust in Thiago hasn’t gone down at all. In fact, the fact he came to me and told me the stuff about the deal they offered him just gained my trust, if anything. I don’t believe there is anything for Thiago to gain from playing both sides if he was just going to vote with us all along. The lines had been drawn long ago, there’s nothing that he could have done to add to that. But hey, what do I know!!



Also, I got to talk to Ben for a bit tonight, which was really nice. I seriously love him SO much. He's just such a sweet, kind-hearted person and I love him to death. He basically said that I'm his only hope at staying in this game, and he's tired of being someone's bitch in every game he plays. He just feels like it's season 5 and he hates it, and hates the game is like this. And I feel so bad!! I would love to save him and help him out. We cleared the air about all this "sides" stuff from the beginning of the game. I told him I was hurt that he went and told Ellen everything I told him pregame, but he said he really just asked her if she was after me, and Ellen said that she wasn't but she knew what he was talking about. He said that Cassie blew everything out of proportion. It was nice to hear that from him, but it's honestly just 35 days too late. I'm glad I talked to him, though.

I wish I could save him, but there's no way I'm turning on JABBA, even if it means I'm coming in 5th.

[aj]

Well never-fucking-mind all of that.

We went from having what I would consider a genuine heart-to-heart, where I left the convo feeling just so bad I couldn't work with him....And look what I just got:

10:53 PM AJ
but i'm not going to turn on my allies at this point, even if i'll end up in 5th
11:37 PM Big Ben
you suck
11:38 PM AJ
sorry );
11:38 PM Big Ben
dont
11:38 PM Big Ben
bye

Like, seriously?

Was everything you JUST told me all a way to manipulate me? Was it all fake? I don't understand. I just poured my heart out to him about how bad I felt about the way this game turned out, and I thought he was doing the same. There was absolutely no transition in the conversation; I just told him I wouldn't switch sides for him, and he got pissed.

I honestly am just really taken aback. That hurts.