Post by ellen on Jul 13, 2013 13:14:30 GMT -5
7/13/2013
This is so bad. That's two members of my alliance who have been idolled out in a row now. We're down in numbers and morale has hit rock bottom.
Regarding Selena, she was one of the last people that I expected to find myself working with coming into this game, so the close friendship that we ended up sharing, it was really special to me. I'm so sad that she's gone because I know she was just as invested in this as the rest of us. This meant a lot to her.
Dominic is pretty devastated and I completely get it; Selena was like a little sister to him, and he couldn't save her.
With Colleen, she's pissed and suspects that something shady could be going on that transcends the game, and poor Ben, he's just exhausted and keeps telling me that he wants to fall on his torch so that the rest of us can advance.
I agree that things are looking really bleak, yes, but I know that I personally work the best with my back up against a wall. I'm not ready to throw in the towel. Trust me when I say that this show is far from over.
There's a huge silver lining in that the two Idols played at last night's Judgment are going to be rehidden, and if we can find even one of them, we have a great shot. I need to get Ben, Colleen and Dom fired up because it's now or never. AJ and Company can vote me out if they want, but to make it happen, they'll have to pry my cold dead fingers from my extinguished torch. They say I'm a threat? Well in the words of a famous Survivor, "I'll show them how threatening I am."
7/14/2013
This season continues to be such a roller coaster ride. All along I've felt extreme excitement, disappointment, anger, frustration, happiness and sadness; a whole Richter scale of emotions.
Today has been no exception. Just this morning I woke up feeling less than enthusiastic about my chances of lasting much longer in this game but right now, I'm on cloud nine. It's funny how a challenge slip-up and a clue to a Hidden Immunity Idol can do that.
Finding my second Idol, and in record time no less, is phenomenal. The icing on the cupcake is that with Henry's disqualification, one the four of Ben, Colleen, Dominic and I is pretty much guaranteed to win Immunity now. If we can find the other Idol that's floating around out there, that gives great odds turning the game on it's head once again. Yippee ki-yay bitches, let's dance.
7/15/2013
I'm so torn right now. With the Idol there comes a huge burden on me to play it correctly. It's a catch-22 because if I play it on myself and Dominic goes, it'll be devastating... I'll feel like the shittiest person alive; on the other hand if I play it on Dominic and I end up going? That would crush me. I don't think that I could live with myself after making what would arguably go down as the biggest blunder in the whole entire series. It goes without saying, but the same can be said when it comes to playing the Idol on Colleen.
There's another Idol out there, so if we can find it, then my decision will be a whole lot easier. I don't want to be selfish but this game truly means so much to me, and if I go out holding my fate in my own hands, knowing that I could have stayed if only I'd made the right decision... it's hard to stomach even thinking about that.
I don't know what to do.
7/15/2013
Cassie and I had a major heart-to-heart last night. I can only assume that some of it was game on her part, but it still meant a lot to me. She told me that she regrets how this game has become 'AJ vs. Ellen' and that she thinks I've been treated unfairly. I hope that she was being genuine and really means that but in this game you have to take everything with a grain of salt.
I'm in an awkward position because I do really care about Cassie as a person, but in this game we just haven't been playing on the same side.
It was cleansing though, to talk to her candidly about how and why this game has been the way that it has, even if there's nothing we can do to change it's outcome.
None of us is innocent but I truly don't believe that anyone here is the demon that so many of us have been made out to be.
7/16/2013
Ben giving up his Individual Immunity to Dominic is huge and could definitely backfire. I'm honestly shocked that Ben chose to do it. It was very selfless. I know it was a really hard decision for him. I'd like to think that I was supportive and didn't pressure him either way.
The idea behind him giving up his necklace, is that we'll cause the other side paranoia and if they were voting Dominic initially, hopefully they'll vote for me now, out of fear that an Idol is being played on Ben and thinking that Colleen would be too obvious of a choice for us to use it on...
If Ben ends up going, it's going to be awful and my heart will break. It's so scary, but we've done all we can do at this point. Right now we just have to knock of wood and hope for the best.
My reaction during the vote reveal...
#fucked
This is so bad. That's two members of my alliance who have been idolled out in a row now. We're down in numbers and morale has hit rock bottom.
Regarding Selena, she was one of the last people that I expected to find myself working with coming into this game, so the close friendship that we ended up sharing, it was really special to me. I'm so sad that she's gone because I know she was just as invested in this as the rest of us. This meant a lot to her.
Dominic is pretty devastated and I completely get it; Selena was like a little sister to him, and he couldn't save her.
With Colleen, she's pissed and suspects that something shady could be going on that transcends the game, and poor Ben, he's just exhausted and keeps telling me that he wants to fall on his torch so that the rest of us can advance.
I agree that things are looking really bleak, yes, but I know that I personally work the best with my back up against a wall. I'm not ready to throw in the towel. Trust me when I say that this show is far from over.
There's a huge silver lining in that the two Idols played at last night's Judgment are going to be rehidden, and if we can find even one of them, we have a great shot. I need to get Ben, Colleen and Dom fired up because it's now or never. AJ and Company can vote me out if they want, but to make it happen, they'll have to pry my cold dead fingers from my extinguished torch. They say I'm a threat? Well in the words of a famous Survivor, "I'll show them how threatening I am."
7/14/2013
This season continues to be such a roller coaster ride. All along I've felt extreme excitement, disappointment, anger, frustration, happiness and sadness; a whole Richter scale of emotions.
Today has been no exception. Just this morning I woke up feeling less than enthusiastic about my chances of lasting much longer in this game but right now, I'm on cloud nine. It's funny how a challenge slip-up and a clue to a Hidden Immunity Idol can do that.
Finding my second Idol, and in record time no less, is phenomenal. The icing on the cupcake is that with Henry's disqualification, one the four of Ben, Colleen, Dominic and I is pretty much guaranteed to win Immunity now. If we can find the other Idol that's floating around out there, that gives great odds turning the game on it's head once again. Yippee ki-yay bitches, let's dance.
7/15/2013
I'm so torn right now. With the Idol there comes a huge burden on me to play it correctly. It's a catch-22 because if I play it on myself and Dominic goes, it'll be devastating... I'll feel like the shittiest person alive; on the other hand if I play it on Dominic and I end up going? That would crush me. I don't think that I could live with myself after making what would arguably go down as the biggest blunder in the whole entire series. It goes without saying, but the same can be said when it comes to playing the Idol on Colleen.
There's another Idol out there, so if we can find it, then my decision will be a whole lot easier. I don't want to be selfish but this game truly means so much to me, and if I go out holding my fate in my own hands, knowing that I could have stayed if only I'd made the right decision... it's hard to stomach even thinking about that.
I don't know what to do.
7/15/2013
Cassie and I had a major heart-to-heart last night. I can only assume that some of it was game on her part, but it still meant a lot to me. She told me that she regrets how this game has become 'AJ vs. Ellen' and that she thinks I've been treated unfairly. I hope that she was being genuine and really means that but in this game you have to take everything with a grain of salt.
I'm in an awkward position because I do really care about Cassie as a person, but in this game we just haven't been playing on the same side.
It was cleansing though, to talk to her candidly about how and why this game has been the way that it has, even if there's nothing we can do to change it's outcome.
None of us is innocent but I truly don't believe that anyone here is the demon that so many of us have been made out to be.
7/16/2013
Ben giving up his Individual Immunity to Dominic is huge and could definitely backfire. I'm honestly shocked that Ben chose to do it. It was very selfless. I know it was a really hard decision for him. I'd like to think that I was supportive and didn't pressure him either way.
The idea behind him giving up his necklace, is that we'll cause the other side paranoia and if they were voting Dominic initially, hopefully they'll vote for me now, out of fear that an Idol is being played on Ben and thinking that Colleen would be too obvious of a choice for us to use it on...
If Ben ends up going, it's going to be awful and my heart will break. It's so scary, but we've done all we can do at this point. Right now we just have to knock of wood and hope for the best.